I am officially nominating Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) for the Nobel Peace Prize.
No President in History has ended the same war so many times.
Our Dear Leader has ended the war with Iran at least 38 times by CNN’s count.
No President has ever done this before.
And he is nowhere near finished ending it.
It’s a record worthy of the Nobel committee’s recognition. Thank you for your attention to this matter!
QUESTIONS THAT MAKE SHITTY PEOPLE TELL ON THEMSELVES
“What do you think about ___?”
1. Lizzo
2. Men wearing makeup
3. Feminism
4. Black Lives Matter
5. Antifa
6. Greta Thunberg
7. “Me Too”
8. LGBT characters in children’s TV shows
9. AOC
10. Spanking
11. Vaccines
12. Abortion
To my fellow women: I celebrate you! But I celebrate you yesterday, today, tomorrow, and every day here on after; for all of your failures that have turned to lessons, dreams still in the making, and goals that have turned to achievements.