wait

[Nuke @megab00f]

hey if you’re grabbing another beer could you tousle my hair on the way

[ELLɅ MɅCHINɅ @orchidcamp]

theyre throwing tomatoes at me and Im taking every hit like its part of the show

[ELLɅ MɅCHINɅ @orchidcamp]

me after two beer { machine powering up noises}

[wait @yepcole]

Sorry I’ve been watching Spanish cringe comps from 5 years ago

[wait @yepcole]

Biggest ick is someone holding their phone without actively using it

[:3than @itsflanagain]

Ever since I was a little kid I knew that I wanted to be late for work

[Anjali 👊🔥🇺🇸 @AnjaliVBhatt]

looking forward to another week where all the stuff I want to accomplish depends on a sense of self-discipline and executive functioning I've never once possessed in my life

[gianmarco @GianmarcoSoresi]

It’s so hard telling if your parents are showing early signs of dementia if they’ve always been out of their fucking minds

[wait @yepcole]

Last time I was on a date I got some pee droplets on my pants so then I pissed my whole pants and went back out like ah 🙄 the dang sink

[wait @yepcole]

Her laughter saturated the room as a birdsong would a meadow, and freckles decorated her smiling face like tech deck stickers on a gameboy advance sp

[ELLɅ MɅCHINɅ @orchidcamp]

every time i feel my hair move on my body i think it is a spider And freeze up in fear but at the same time I've got a l ot to be thankful for

[wait @yepcole]

Deep fried airpod

[ELLɅ MɅCHINɅ @orchidcamp]

everrything is horrifying but im vibing. the night air is cool on my skin

[pea @postingtime]

Every morning I wake without memory of any day prior, and every night I reflect fondly on the full day's life I'll soon forget

[wait @yepcole]

Starting a free trial with my credit card right before it expires

[Losing it @prophethusband]

I dress like an idiot and I look stupid when I walk around outside

[wait @yepcole]

Men have fought wars for this

[legit gaming leaks @gaming_leaker]

Another video game is in development.

[cheyenne🆗️ @evilvillain1231]

Reliefmaxxing by only eating once im starving, drinking once i'm severly parched, sleeping after staying up too long, using the bathroom after holding it for a while, and so on