୨୧ ,, allie / attempting semi-recov?

🔖 ed diary, fatphobes & proana dni

[୨୧ ,, allie / attempting semi-recov? @yeursmine]

ೃೀ. february accountability ೃೀ.

🖇

[୨୧ ,, allie / attempting semi-recov? @yeursmine]

so what if i return full-swing ED as a 2nd year pharmacy undergrad at my new hw ever & rot away on edtwt again after over a year of being inactive?

[୨୧ ,, allie / attempting semi-recov? @yeursmine]

been maintaining lately while eating anything i want ^_^

[୨୧ ,, allie / attempting semi-recov? @yeursmine]

js ate 2 donuts for breakfast this morning feeling so great

[୨୧ ,, allie / attempting semi-recov? @yeursmine]

i’ve been so inconsistent with my eating lately, and i keep getting reminded my “perfect weight” is 42. im 46 now. i feel horrible abt it :/

[୨୧ ,, allie / attempting semi-recov? @yeursmine]

im attempting a 24hr fast tdy…

[୨୧ ,, allie / attempting semi-recov? @yeursmine]

can i lose 2kgs in 2 weeks? 😀

[୨୧ ,, allie / attempting semi-recov? @yeursmine]

i think i js reached bmi 18 bc my jeans are tight on me now…they werent tight like 2 weeks ago…i’ve been eating rly badly. i need to rly lower my intake for a while. im so disappointed in myself

[୨୧ ,, allie / attempting semi-recov? @yeursmine]

my ass rly maintained and did not work out during ramadan…

[୨୧ ,, allie / attempting semi-recov? @yeursmine]

i think i gained another kilo since 46kgs so im gna go back to fasting until im back down to like 46 or under…first proper fast in a long time wow

[୨୧ ,, allie / attempting semi-recov? @yeursmine]

i know i havent tweeted on here in forever but i js wna update on my attempt at recovery, some days the body dysmorphia is SO bad and im still dealing w water retention & constipation. im doing okay mostly though trying to be okay w not being a size S all the time

[୨୧ ,, allie / attempting semi-recov? @yeursmine]

happy eid to those who celebrate, cals dont count today!! 🥳🥳🥳

[୨୧ ,, allie / attempting semi-recov? @yeursmine]

i took this yesterday but i feel 10kgs heavier than this photo

[୨୧ ,, allie / attempting semi-recov? @yeursmine]

js got weighed at the clinic and apparently i’ve been 162cm this whole time. w food + water + clothes weight im
46kg, still bmi 17.5 despite eating what i wanted this whole time

[୨୧ ,, allie / attempting semi-recov? @yeursmine]

how much weight can i lose if i omad 400-500cals everyday for 10 days?

[୨୧ ,, allie / attempting semi-recov? @yeursmine]

attempting a 30hr fast idc . this month im
gna try my best to fake eating when i break my fast keep my cals under 1k everyday at least. skip rope & walk everyday at least. im scared i feel like im THIS close to being fat as hell

[୨୧ ,, allie / attempting semi-recov? @yeursmine]

i feel like i’ve been eating out of habit instead of hunger i cant do this anymore. idk what to do now i really want to lose like 6-8kg over 2 months, wld it be possible??

[୨୧ ,, allie / attempting semi-recov? @yeursmine]

my parents will be watching me. im scared

[୨୧ ,, allie / attempting semi-recov? @yeursmine]

i want to be back to at least 43kg by june at the LEAST bc that was my original goal but i swear i think i gained up to like 5kgs or even more during the past month, i literally ate so much i literally hate myself. idk how to lose weight during ramadhan now bc+

[୨୧ ,, allie / attempting semi-recov? @yeursmine]

i feel like i’ve been taking my low weight for granted by eating a lot while i still have my thigh gap and flat stomach

[୨୧ ,, allie / attempting semi-recov? @yeursmine]

i ate too much yesterday even though i went out with my friends and got so much exercise in i ate dinner w them an entire bowl of japanese hotpot and now its 4am and i js ate for sahur AGAIN even though i thought i shouldnt eat more i feel so gross