𝖣𝗂𝗇𝖾𝖾

Sweet—Lips scriblet on the Petals of Rose, the Diary of Sugarplum. (❀/) 달콤함이 가득한 : Chériebelle of most Loveliest.

[𝖣𝗂𝗇𝖾𝖾 @yirantsz]

https://t.co/3LqLOJEngu currently watching
×͜× Drama China
#TheLamentOfAutumn

×͜× Drama korea
#DoctorX
#DiveIntoYou
#100DaysOfDeception
#KidNapGAME × jp

×͜× Drama Jepang
#LOST10

[𝖣𝗂𝗇𝖾𝖾 @yirantsz]

gua dah nemu editan yg cocok buat pinned

[𝖣𝗂𝗇𝖾𝖾 @yirantsz]

memaki paling nyantai tpi kerasa bgt muak nyaa 😭😭😭

[𝖣𝗂𝗇𝖾𝖾 @yirantsz]

i've never denied that he treats me differently from everyone else. he can hold me gently, treat me with patience, and show his softer side in countless little moments. there are times when he clearly can't bring himself to be cruel to me.

but his way of showing affection is too controlling and possessive. i can't handle it, and i can't give him the feelings he wants in return.

i've stayed true to what i've always believed in and the peaceful future i've imagined for myself. but i can't seem to escape the circumstances i'm living in now.

at the same time, i know that no one can walk away from this situation without getting hurt. he's struggling with his own feelings, and i'm trapped between two impossible choices.

on one side is the future i've always wanted and quietly hoped for, the ordinary and peaceful life i've been trying so hard to protect.

on the other is the connection i can't escape, the person i'm forced to see day after day, and a relationship that's both gentle and painful, leaving me constantly feeling guilty and uneasy.

i've never wanted to hurt anyone, yet somehow, i've ended up trapped between love and resentment.

my heart still belongs to the future i've dreamed of since i was young, but i have no freedom to choose my own path in these troubled times.

in this chaotic world, the hardest part isn't the hardships or the uncertainty. it's desperately trying to hold on to the life i once believed was meant for me, only to find myself unable to escape the love of someone who refuses to let me go.

with every passing day, i'm still caught between two choices, and every step forward brings more pain.

[𝖣𝗂𝗇𝖾𝖾 @yirantsz]

#TheLamentOfAutumn 𓋰 Ye Pingjun pov

a rainy night. a little chilly. unable to sleep.

lately, i've felt like i'm stuck in a situation i can't find my way out of. everything feels quiet and suffocating, and even my sadness has become something i keep to myself. i've never been someone who was easily confined to a small world, yet the circumstances i've found myself in have left me unable to move forward or turn back.

deep down, i've always held on to the future i believed was meant for me and jiang xueting. it was the future we'd always assumed we'd share since we were young. the ring on my finger was what kept me going through my days in fengtai. i believed my life was supposed to follow that path. i'd held on to the promise we'd made when we were younger and the future we'd planned together, never daring to let any of it go.

but somehow, i couldn't escape yu changxuan.

his presence has become the biggest dilemma of my life. he keeps getting closer, mixing kindness with obsession, and letting me have my way one moment only to pressure me the next. he's completely disrupted the peace of mind i'd always tried to hold on to.

that day, when we were alone together in the room, the atmosphere was tense and uncomfortable, with feelings neither of us could easily explain. suddenly, my chest felt heavy, and tears started falling before i could stop them. i wasn't scared or frightened. i was simply overwhelmed by how helpless i felt.

my heart belonged to someone else, yet i was being forced to stay so close to him. this complicated situation left me feeling both guilty and exhausted. thankfully, he eventually stopped himself. he couldn't bring himself to push me any further, leaving me just enough room to breathe.

i could tell that he was hurting, too. but his pain couldn't make my situation any easier.

as the days went by, i still couldn't avoid spending time with him. when i was completely exhausted and fell asleep on the bed, i'd wake up to find him watching me from nearby, sometimes even reaching out to touch me. when i quietly sat beside him and ground the ink for him to write, he'd grab my wrist and pull me into his arms.

then he whispered, "a single night of spring is worth a thousand pieces of gold."

every word felt like a painful reminder of the situation i was in. his teasing was full of hidden intentions, mixed with his desire to test my feelings and his stubborn obsession with me. it struck right at the heart of everything i'd been trying so hard to hold on to.

until he suddenly reached out and threw away the ring i'd been clutching so tightly.

in that moment, it felt as though everything i'd believed in had fallen apart. the ring wasn't just a piece of jewelry. it represented the entire future i'd imagined for myself, the life i'd believed jiang xueting and i were supposed to have together.

i didn't care how tired i was or how i looked. i stopped eating and drinking as i searched everywhere for it. eventually, i found the ring in the water. my fingertips were scratched by the wet surfaces and sharp edges, but the physical pain was nothing compared to the panic i felt at the thought of losing something so important to me.

i hadn't just recovered a ring. i'd recovered the future i refused to give up on, the path i'd always believed my life should take, and the last thing i had left to hold on to from the dreams i'd had when i was young.

i'd once believed that staying true to those promises would help me stay true to myself. but before long, i found myself caught in another painful struggle with him.

when he saw that i'd recovered the ring, anger and disappointment filled his eyes. the way he lost control left me feeling uneasy.

yet i could clearly see the sadness and disappointment in his eyes. i saw him suddenly freeze, and i could feel how much we were both hurting, each of us struggling with our own feelings.

[𝖣𝗂𝗇𝖾𝖾 @yirantsz]

awalnya, aku berpikir bahwa dengan mempertahankan keyakinan ini, aku bisa tetap setia pada perasaanku sendiri. tetapi, aku tetap tidak bisa menghindari masalah baru di antara kami.

ketika melihat cincin yang berhasil kutemukan kembali, yu changxuan terlihat sangat marah dan kecewa. sikapnya yang kehilangan kendali membuatku merasa takut dan gelisah.

namun, aku bisa melihat kesedihan dan kekecewaan di matanya. aku juga melihat bagaimana dia tiba-tiba terdiam, seolah tidak tahu harus berbuat apa.

kami berdua sama-sama menanggung penderitaan dan terjebak dalam keadaan yang menyakitkan.

aku tidak pernah menyangkal bahwa dia memperlakukanku dengan cara yang berbeda dari orang lain. dia bisa memelukku dengan lembut, memperlakukanku dengan sabar, dan berkali-kali menunjukkan bahwa dia tidak tega menyakitiku.

tetapi, caranya menunjukkan perasaan terlalu mendominasi dan posesif. aku tidak sanggup menerima semua itu, dan aku juga tidak bisa membalas perasaannya.

aku ingin tetap setia pada keyakinanku dan kehidupan tenang yang selama ini kubayangkan. tetapi, aku tidak bisa melepaskan diri dari keadaan yang sedang kuhadapi.

aku juga tahu betul bahwa dalam hubungan rumit ini, tidak ada seorang pun yang bisa benar-benar terbebas dari penderitaan. dia terus menyiksa dirinya dengan pikirannya sendiri, sementara aku terjebak dalam dilema yang membuatku semakin terpuruk.

di satu sisi, ada masa depan yang selalu kuharapkan dan kehidupan sederhana serta tenang yang ingin kupertahankan dengan segala cara.

di sisi lain, ada ikatan yang tidak bisa kuhindari karena kami terus bersama setiap hari. hubungan ini dipenuhi perhatian yang lembut sekaligus menyakitkan, membuatku terus merasa bersalah dan tidak tenang.

aku tidak pernah berniat menyakiti siapa pun. tetapi, aku justru terjebak di antara cinta dan kebencian.

hatiku sudah memiliki tempat untuk kembali, yaitu impian yang kubangun sejak muda. tetapi, aku tidak punya kebebasan untuk menentukan jalan hidupku sendiri karena keadaan di masa perang ini.

di tengah kekacauan zaman dan berbagai masalah yang harus kuhadapi, hal yang paling menyiksa bukanlah kesulitan yang datang silih berganti. melainkan kenyataan bahwa aku terus berusaha mempertahankan kehidupan yang kuanggap seharusnya menjadi milikku, tetapi pada akhirnya tetap tidak bisa melepaskan diri dari perasaan mendalam seseorang yang terus mengikatku.

hari demi hari, aku terus terjebak dalam dilema. langkah demi langkah, aku harus menanggung penderitaan ini.

[𝖣𝗂𝗇𝖾𝖾 @yirantsz]

#TheLamentOfAutumn 𓋰 Ye Pingjun pov

malam hujan, udara dingin, sulit tidur

akhir-akhir ini, aku merasa seperti terjebak dalam masalah yang terus berulang dan tidak bisa kutemukan jalan keluarnya. semuanya terasa sunyi dan menyesakkan. bahkan kesedihanku pun hanya bisa kupendam sendiri tanpa diketahui siapa pun.

aku memang tidak pernah dikurung di tempat yang sempit, tetapi belenggu tak kasatmata yang dibentuk oleh takdir terus mengikatku erat-erat, membuatku tidak tahu harus maju atau mundur.

di dalam hati, aku selalu menyimpan harapan yang kuanggap wajar. harapan itu berkaitan dengan jiang xueting dan masa depan yang sejak muda kami yakini akan kami jalani bersama.

cincin yang kukenakan di jariku menjadi pegangan yang membuatku mampu bertahan selama berada di fengtai. aku selalu berpikir bahwa hidupku seharusnya berjalan seperti yang kubayangkan. aku mempertahankan janji lama antara kami yang sudah saling mengenal sejak kecil, juga janji yang belum sempat kami tepati. aku tidak pernah berani menganggap semua itu sebagai sesuatu yang bisa dengan mudah kulepaskan.

tetapi, aku justru tidak bisa menghindari yu changxuan.

kehadirannya menjadi dilema terbesar dalam hidupku. dia terus mendekatiku. sikap lembutnya bercampur dengan obsesinya, sementara perhatian yang diberikannya juga disertai paksaan. semua itu membuat pikiranku yang sebelumnya tenang menjadi kacau.

hari itu, saat kami berdua berada di dalam ruangan, suasananya terasa canggung sekaligus menegangkan. tiba-tiba, dadaku terasa sesak dan air mataku mengalir tanpa bisa kutahan.

aku menangis bukan karena takut atau merasa terancam, melainkan karena merasa benar-benar tidak berdaya.

hatiku sudah tertuju kepada orang lain, tetapi aku justru harus berada begitu dekat dengan yu changxuan. keadaan yang bertentangan dengan keinginanku ini membuatku merasa bersalah sekaligus lelah.

untungnya, dia masih tahu batas. pada akhirnya, dia tidak tega memaksaku lebih jauh dan berhenti, sehingga aku masih punya sedikit ruang untuk menenangkan diri.

aku tahu dia juga sedang menderita. tetapi, kesedihannya tidak bisa menghilangkan dilema yang sedang kuhadapi.

hari-hari berikutnya tetap berjalan seperti biasa, dan aku masih tidak bisa menghindari kebersamaan dengannya.

aku pernah tertidur di tempat tidur karena terlalu lelah. begitu terbangun, aku mendapati dia sedang menatapku dari dekat dan menyentuhku.

saat aku duduk diam sambil menghaluskan tinta untuk menemaninya menulis, dia justru menggenggam pergelangan tanganku dan menarikku ke dalam pelukannya.

kalimatnya, "malam pengantin yang singkat begitu berharga," terdengar di telingaku. setiap katanya terasa menyakitkan. dengan nada menggoda yang penuh maksud dan sikap posesifnya, dia benar-benar menyentuh bagian terdalam dari keyakinan yang selama ini berusaha kupertahankan.

sampai akhirnya, dia mengangkat tangan dan membuang cincin yang kugenggam erat-erat.

saat itu, rasanya seluruh duniaku mendadak runtuh.

cincin itu bukan sekadar perhiasan. cincin itu mewakili seluruh gambaran masa depan yang selama ini kuharapkan. cincin itu juga melambangkan kehidupan yang seharusnya kujalani bersama jiang xueting, sesuatu yang menurutku sudah sewajarnya menjadi kenyataan.

aku tidak lagi memedulikan rasa lelah ataupun harga diriku. aku tidak makan dan tidak minum, lalu mencari cincin itu ke mana-mana. pada akhirnya, aku berhasil menemukannya kembali di dalam air.

ujung-ujung jariku terluka karena air dan sudut-sudut kecil benda yang kusentuh. tetapi, rasa sakit pada kulitku tidak sebanding dengan kepanikan yang kurasakan saat berpikir bahwa aku mungkin telah kehilangan pegangan hidupku.

yang kutemukan kembali bukan hanya sebuah cincin, melainkan juga harapan lama yang tidak ingin kulepaskan dan satu-satunya hal yang masih kupertahankan dari impianku sejak muda.

[𝖣𝗂𝗇𝖾𝖾 @yirantsz]

ini ngga banyak yg ngedit drajep tuh krna ngga ada yg sediain scp atau krna copyright yg kelewat ketat????

[𝖣𝗂𝗇𝖾𝖾 @yirantsz]

anak sama bapaknya sama sama lucuuuu 😭😭😭

[𝖣𝗂𝗇𝖾𝖾 @yirantsz]

etdah neng 😭😭

[J ⋆☕︎ ˖. @croquembooze]

Soran having Gakyung borrowed her clothes feels like alluding to Gakyung's future role in Gugukdan.

It also somehow ripples back to my theory in episode 1:

Soran mentioned to Phillip the 𝙝𝙖𝙣𝙗𝙤𝙠 she prepared to wear when she dies (taking her own life after killing Sato), but it was stolen along with the bag (Gakyung stole it).

What if in the future, it will be Gakyung who will actually die, and her stealing the bag from Soran symbolizes stealing Soran's fate as well (like a shifting of hands): as Gakyung will become the new female leader of Gugukdan in the future and who will actually sacrifice herself during their fight for independence.

#100DaysofDeception
#KimYouJung #김유정
#100일의거짓말

[𝖣𝗂𝗇𝖾𝖾 @yirantsz]

@onlyxiwei yahhh akuu lupaaa 😭 lngsng aku hapus ajaa kontennya

[𝖣𝗂𝗇𝖾𝖾 @yirantsz]

nangissss 😭😭😭

[𝖣𝗂𝗇𝖾𝖾 @yirantsz]

pipi nyaaa 😭😭😭
gua selalu kegemesan tiap liat pipi nya maimai 😭

[殷果 ❄️🌾 @randmpersonjk]

2026.10.18
#AJourneytoGlow 🍃

My precious and soft Tingyu~

#ZhaoJinmai 🌾 #赵今麦

[𝖣𝗂𝗇𝖾𝖾 @yirantsz]

@xxxuxixuxixx tpi dia ngga bakalan dpt duit tambahan buat bayar utang kalau trs di igd 😭😭😭

[𝖣𝗂𝗇𝖾𝖾 @yirantsz]

pernah di blok grgr gua pake cenblue 😭😭 pdhl gua pake cenblue biar keliatan estetik aja itu dn 😭

[𝖣𝗂𝗇𝖾𝖾 @yirantsz]

ngga ada yg bisa gua edit dri tloa. BYEEEE NYERAHHHHH

[𝖣𝗂𝗇𝖾𝖾 @yirantsz]

!!

[࣪ ִֶָ☾. @solunasky]

take me for an example ☺️ i have a long list of people i don't like but u won't see me being shady or hateful about them cause i have a life, i know how to mind my own fucking business and protect my own peace so learn it maybe. it'll do wonders for ur life i promise

[𝖣𝗂𝗇𝖾𝖾 @yirantsz]

!!

[࣪ ִֶָ☾. @solunasky]

here's a free advice : if u don't like certain idols/artists don't talk about them. i don't think it's that hard to ignore the people or things that u don't like and focus on your own favs instead.

[𝖣𝗂𝗇𝖾𝖾 @yirantsz]

🧡🧡

[𝖣𝗂𝗇𝖾𝖾 @yirantsz]

mulai nemu anomali yang nyalahin pingjun. nerbner yaa lu padaaaaaa

[𝖣𝗂𝗇𝖾𝖾 @yirantsz]

keknya harus cari moots kdrama deh, anomali bgt di timeline sendiri