people I hate the most are people who can’t formulate an opinion for themselves. Those who hate without reason, for the sake of being edgy. I can somewhat understand genuinely having those ideals but when you're halfassing it and not commiting to anything I can’t take u seriously
The need is so intense it physically aches i want it i want it confirmation affirmation and a lasting escape hedonism pales in comparison to this i want permission for it i need it or i don't know how i'll be alive seriously it's out there somewhere if someones willing to give it
they have it i know they do because if God wont give it they will for sure i know my mom thinks so too and i love her so much but she doesnt know the extent as to which i will go for this sole reason this reason for a reason and i need a reason for this reason and the reason
its so easy to spiral that i end up feeling that others direct me ratherthan myself WHICH contradicts the very self i have been showing the one who is so solid and grounded in his (??) beliefs
im so guilty god please give me permission to exist........I need permission to be.... but why should i need it its my autonomy its myself alone who has control over if im angry or sad or not but at the same time i have such a tenuous grip on reality and my own self perception