Colleen Deely

Just your average 58 year old man posing as a 25 year old girl on the internet. Enjoy.

[Colleen Deely @yoassisCOLossal]

Bran: "but you're related"
Jon: "well there's your cousins, then you have your first cousins, and then your second cousins..."

[Colleen Deely @yoassisCOLossal]

@NY_Comic_Con hi, my friend transferred my Saturday badge to me and for whatever reason I cannot activate it. I’ve been on hold for over 4 hours and cannot get ahold of someone to help me. What can I do because I purchased a photo op?

[Colleen Deely @yoassisCOLossal]

Lol having a fever in the summertime when it has been hot AF out is not a good vibe. Like what did I do in a past life to deserve such misery?! 😐😐😐 #iamnotdramaticatall

[Colleen Deely @yoassisCOLossal]

Cool tips and tricks for my fellow severely vision impaired people out there: don’t buy clear glasses. The second you put those bad boys down, they will be lost forever and you will only find yourself Velmaing all over the place. I have learned the hard way. #streetsmarts

[Jonathan Van Ness @jvn]

I don’t ever wanna hear some Karen ass fucking battle axe in my dms ever telling me well if they were peaceful...

[Colleen Deely @yoassisCOLossal]

@maggielibin Combo meal hot

[Colleen Deely @yoassisCOLossal]

Stop policing every goddamn thing women eat. It’s either too caloric or too healthy, what the actual fuck?! Fuck off & let @lizzo live her damn life & you continue to live your evidentially pathetic life where your only focus & obsession is the body image of others. GTFO. 2/2

[Colleen Deely @yoassisCOLossal]

Haven’t been on here for a sec but let me just say, people need to hop off @lizzo for doing a detox cleanse. She wasn’t promoting BS she was talking about what makes her body feel good. No body gave Adele this much shit when she lost weight. 1/2

[Colleen Deely @yoassisCOLossal]

Hello Twitter, can I just mention that I high key wanted zip off pants for Christmas and/or my birthday and NEVER received zip off pants. As an adult, yes I am happy about this, but as a youth I have never felt more betrayed by my parents. Same goes with Heelys..and Disney World.

[Colleen Deely @yoassisCOLossal]

So flies are typically attracted to literal feces....proving that Pence has been exactly what we all thought he was the entire time....literal feces. Thank you for coming to my Ted talk. #Debates2020

[The Daily Show @TheDailyShow]

Debates Motel

[Colleen Deely @yoassisCOLossal]

Do you think a sugar daddy would be willing to purchase 75 dogs for one date? Asking for a friend....

[Colleen Deely @yoassisCOLossal]

Only a white girl would get gymnastics training as a court appointment punishment...seriously. #StickIt

[Colleen Deely @yoassisCOLossal]

Yo #StickIt is one of the the best sports movies of all time. Fight me about it. #toomuchrockforonehanddude 🤘🏻🤘🏻🤘🏻

[Colleen Deely @yoassisCOLossal]

@maggielibin Dude tell me about it. I just bought a set and now I’m 99% sure I will never be able to move out.

[Colleen Deely @yoassisCOLossal]

Late on the bandwagon but #Community is one of the best written comedies....EVER! And yes I used a hashtag for the show title. I WANT TO BE HEARD! Kbye.

[Colleen Deely @yoassisCOLossal]

Like I’d rather saw my right hand off than go on an internet date. Like”hey sorry I don’t normally have 15 double chins and am whiter than the pages of a newly opened novel, but how’s ya quarantine going...”

[Colleen Deely @yoassisCOLossal]

Also.....I literally do NOT understand people going on these “FaceTime/zoom dates”. Like no hate but WHAT R U DOING?!

[Colleen Deely @yoassisCOLossal]

I will likely make you feel uncomfortable by dressing up as Joe Exotic and reenacting the entirety of Tiger King. That is all. Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk.

[Colleen Deely @yoassisCOLossal]

Side note I am well aware that I am very likely to turn into one of those mid-20 year olds that invade tiktok. But, I can assure you I will provide entertaining content that doesn’t make you feel uncomfortable like watching a 15 year old that looks 30 dancing all sexy like.

[Colleen Deely @yoassisCOLossal]

High key was sad when Harry Potter destroyed the first horcrux. Young Voldemort could get itttttt.