Samsquatch

young n dumb💫

[Samsquatch @yodissam]

You know I always got that mf thang on me

[Samsquatch @yodissam]

I’m just tryna fall in love in a Waffle House

[Samsquatch @yodissam]

@LongDongDegner Me ever since I moved

[Samsquatch @yodissam]

Thanks motha fucka😌❤️

[Samsquatch @yodissam]

So you still thinking of me, just like I know you should

[Samsquatch @yodissam]

You ever make coffee in the morning and it’s just absolute trash? It really sets the scene for the day and I’m PISSED

[Samsquatch @yodissam]

Y’all ever be listening to Spotify like, “Man, all these songs SLAP” and then realize it’s bc you’re in your likes songs playlist

[Samsquatch @yodissam]

I wonder how rich I’d be rn if I accepted all of the old ass men who’ve proposed to me in the ER…

[Samsquatch @yodissam]

I just want a man like Gomez Addams

[Samsquatch @yodissam]

Never take your esthetician for granted bc they are NOT created equal.. @annie_pagles is the GOAT

[OLDE WAYS @oldeways_]

The fact that anyone fumbled you as a partner is the L of a lifetime.

[Samsquatch @yodissam]

When my patients try to be funny and give me a fake last name

[kb @ojvhteuhyhes]

my period tracking app is moving like a man on tinder

[Samsquatch @yodissam]

@LongDongDegner What a little Easter HAM❤️

[Samsquatch @yodissam]

To whoever is fuckin w a voodoo doll of me, please stop. I am so tired.

[Samsquatch @yodissam]

Bruh I just fell AND ROLLED HARD AF on a walk w my dog. On like the busiest street of my subdivision. To all those cars that drove by, you’re welcome for the show. And for the one who stopped.. I really hope you weren’t recording me💀

[Samsquatch @yodissam]

My style is for girls with little tiddies, do you see the problem here?

[Samsquatch @yodissam]

How’s my mental health, you ask? Currently chain smoking cigarettes and listening to Goodbye Earl on repeat. We are SPIRALING AHAHA

[Samsquatch @yodissam]

if you skip past any mac miller song do not speak to me

[Samsquatch @yodissam]

@hales_yaa Still cackling

[Samsquatch @yodissam]

@hales_yaa HALLERIN

[Samsquatch @yodissam]

I can see broken bones exposed through peoples’ skin, I can feel said bones crunch under my hands when I move them, I can see people fileted open, shove tubes up peoples’ asses.. but the one thing that still makes my skin crawl… cleaning the fuckin kitchen sink drain🤢