Ross Morrison

Gentleman Adventurer

[Ross Morrison @YoRossMorrison]

Why wasn’t Kermit the Frog a tadpole in Muppet Babies?

[Ross Morrison @YoRossMorrison]

Why are the doors “safety” locked every time I try to exit an Uber/Lyft/whatever? I mean sure I’ve made rash and unfortunate decisions in the past, but I didn’t think they’d follow me this late in life.

[Ross Morrison @YoRossMorrison]

@yashar This activated the “A Different World” theme song in my head.

[Ross Morrison @YoRossMorrison]

The Italian Olympic water polo team passionately using their hands to argue with the ref while also treading water is one of the greatest athletic achievements I've ever witnessed.

[Ross Morrison @YoRossMorrison]

You hear a lot about "Disney Adults," but what about us "Hanna Barbara Adults?" Where do we go to trade witty barbs with Snagglepuss? Or snicker along with Muttley? How do I get my wedding officiated by Captain Caveman? We are overlooked and underserved!

[Ross Morrison @YoRossMorrison]

@prranch @TreyEschberger My friends swear by Greenlight.

[Ross Morrison @YoRossMorrison]

The quality of the haircuts and even moreso the tattoos of college athletes has improved dramatically since NIL.

[Ross Morrison @YoRossMorrison]

It’s my birthday and once again there’s an amazing college basketball tournament in my honor and my request to give every college student in the country a week off has been honored. I feel like a third-world dictator.

[Ross Morrison @YoRossMorrison]

Just a bunch of nepo-babies taking the ribbons at the Westminster Dog Show so far.

[Ross Morrison @YoRossMorrison]

Why does everyone on TV testing whether something wrapped in plastic is cocaine or not conveniently have a super cool switchblade knife appear out of nowhere?

[Ross Morrison @YoRossMorrison]

Success makes me nervous because I know what a caution tale I’d be as a celebrity.

[Ross Morrison @YoRossMorrison]

@fredyes123 @ClutchPoints Technically, it was a “dunk shot.”

[Ross Morrison @YoRossMorrison]

@nastynatebiller @BillSimmons Probably because they are playing Philly and his job is evaluating All-Star selections.

[Bleacher Report @BleacherReport]

LAMAR'S HEADING TO HIS FIRST AFC CHAMPIONSHIP 🔥

RAVENS HANDLE TEXANS, 34-10

[Ross Morrison @YoRossMorrison]

You never hear about anyone retiring to Skull Island. They have terrible PR.

[Ross Morrison @YoRossMorrison]

There’s nothing worse than not knowing why your cat is wet.

[Ross Morrison @YoRossMorrison]

I always find it interesting that a traditional snowman has a head, abdomen, and … thorax? With spindly appendages, if any. It’s more a snow insect.

[Ross Morrison @YoRossMorrison]

@ClutchSportsArk I’m here for an Arkansas/Purdue multi-decade rivalry!

[Ross Morrison @YoRossMorrison]

If I’d known you don’t allow shoes in the house, I would have worn nicer socks. Just give me a heads-up. That’s all I’m asking.

[Ross Morrison @YoRossMorrison]

Ugh, why does crystal glassware have to stain so easily?!? Like I don't already have enough problems.