Tim Wagner

I follow my wife and child around closing doors and turning out lights. Other than that, I'm barely productive.

[Tim Wagner @prranch]

@jpchurch I’m no herp, but I think I could hold a 10 minute conversation about Gaboon vipers! Number one coolest snake in the world. 2 inch fangs!!

[Tim Wagner @prranch]

@arcadian_ish Your joke bugs me. 😏

[Tim Wagner @prranch]

@spengjr It’s so insidious.

[Tim Wagner @prranch]

Three weeks ago my wife was on the way to school and stopped to rescue a tiny kitten at a busy intersection. It ran up in her wheel well. The next night, 38 hours later, she heard it in the garage. It was up on top the engine. We’ve nursed her to health and I’m about to go drop her at a shelter. Our two older cats aren’t happy with her around. We saved her life and somehow I feel guilty…

[Tim Wagner @prranch]

Chat, am I cooked for making Transfusions at home? 😂

[Tim Wagner @prranch]

@TxRecon1 We drove backroads from east of San Antonio all the way to Galveston for spring break, and a whole other route of backroads back home. I was 99% more relaxed than driving that awful stretch of I-10, and I think we spent maybe an hour more on the road total.

[Tim Wagner @prranch]

@tmarsh8364 Mass quantities of Albanese gummies. You OK?

[Tim Wagner @prranch]

Cuba libre is my current early summer drink. Making my first Transfusion tomorrow, though, and I have a feeling that’s going to be the go-to pool drink all summer. First pool visit today and the water was perfect!

[Tim Wagner @prranch]

Two things can be true:
1. The USGA rule requires you to play this ball out of the divot hole.
2. That rule is the single stupidest rule in all of sports. It's punishment for doing something correctly - hitting the fairway.

[Thwack Nicklaus @thwacknicklaus]

I remain genuinely stunned by the number of golfers who think you should get relief from a fairway divot.

The ball ended up in a bad spot. That is, quite literally, golf!

If your drive hit a sprinkler on the fly and rolled an extra 50 yards, would you walk it back??

[Tim Wagner @prranch]

@talledcombs Would you say, then, that she's ... not that innocent?

[Tim Wagner @prranch]

@talledcombs

[Tim Wagner @prranch]

@DrDopplerKRVL My phone wanted to color correct it, but I wouldn’t let it! I also forgot to mention, got hailed on in F’burg on Friendship Lane yesterday at 4:45. Sounded like war in my pickup, but no dents - marble sized mostly.

[Tim Wagner @prranch]

Stay golden, Pony Storm.

[Tim Wagner @prranch]

@AdamSinger Yes, and same with the cholla and agaves in our yard. Too big and they just love life around here without any help!

[Tim Wagner @prranch]

@AdamSinger Yep. Our older lace cactus will now get 2-3 per cactus. We have these crazy little beetles that get in and roll around in the pollen. Especially in the prickly pear flowers - like 5-6 per flower.

[Tim Wagner @prranch]

@tmarsh8364 Bo, Vlad Guerrero, and modern day Adolis Garcia are the only three with a chance. Yasiel Puig maybe outside shot. But none of them are getting close to Ricky unless they have the perfect incoming catch and one step throw.

[Tim Wagner @prranch]

@JimEspy I feel like breeds should be raised by climate … scientifically. But you know ranchers and farmers will still trust their gut more than their education. 😂 And I can’t say they’re that wrong. Hybrid vigor still rules.