You Are Free To Go

Musings from contributing writers for The Onion.

[You Are Free To Go @youarefreetogo]

It Only Sucks To Be Them - http://shar.es/azsz9

[You Are Free To Go @youarefreetogo]

Sugar Shock - http://shar.es/akE0N

[You Are Free To Go @youarefreetogo]

Sammy Sosa's Reputation Will Never Be As White As His Skin - http://shar.es/akCDS

[You Are Free To Go @youarefreetogo]

Finally -- bottle-nose pliers I can wear on my arm - http://shar.es/aATS4

[You Are Free To Go @youarefreetogo]

Mommy's Little Shoe Fetishist - http://shar.es/aAyi9

[You Are Free To Go @youarefreetogo]

Scare Traffic Control - http://shar.es/aAbO3

[You Are Free To Go @youarefreetogo]

For Everyone Who Hates That Extra Hour of Sunlight - http://shar.es/axbgL

[You Are Free To Go @youarefreetogo]

Free Costs $150 - http://shar.es/aWhMM

[You Are Free To Go @youarefreetogo]

Rappers in Ugly Sweaters - http://shar.es/1K90u

[You Are Free To Go @youarefreetogo]

Back To The Ice Cream Of The Future - http://shar.es/1iEmY

[You Are Free To Go @youarefreetogo]

My Daughter, the Devil Grrrrrl - http://shar.es/1zCso

[You Are Free To Go @youarefreetogo]

I'm Sorry, Were You Gone? - http://shar.es/1AN9M

[You Are Free To Go @youarefreetogo]

Zero Tolerance For Idiots - http://shar.es/1wEuM

[You Are Free To Go @youarefreetogo]

I'll Have What She's Having - http://shar.es/1YZyM

[You Are Free To Go @youarefreetogo]

Buffet the Appetite Slayer - http://shar.es/1CGNd

[You Are Free To Go @youarefreetogo]

WARNING: Do Not Read This if You Have Moral, Ethical Or Religious Reasons Forcing You To Cower Helplessly While Some... http://shar.es/14pnF

[You Are Free To Go @youarefreetogo]

My Trouble is Christmas - http://shar.es/1ueVv

[You Are Free To Go @youarefreetogo]

Free Body Shots! - http://shar.es/1tupX

[You Are Free To Go @youarefreetogo]

Attention Twitter followers of Levar Burton: the Onion has been online 13 years and is not an actual news outlet. - http://shar.es/1tXXo

[You Are Free To Go @youarefreetogo]

Readers Surprised To Learn Reader's Digest Still Exists - http://shar.es/1qsR0