Huda

Learner. I hate Dhulm.

[Kaatib Yusuf @kaatibyusuf]

Muslim men of today do not seem to know what they want. We are stuck between “our women should stay at home and build our kids” and, in the same breath, we want them to be placed in positions of authority. These are, unfortunately, two parallel lines.

We cannot keep demanding two different versions of Muslim women depending on what we need from them. At home, we want the endlessly available wife and mother whose highest priority is the family. Outside the home, we suddenly want the highly educated woman, the executive, the entrepreneur, the professional, the woman capable of navigating institutions and carrying serious responsibility. Then we act surprised when she cannot simultaneously give each of these roles the entirety of herself.

There is nothing wrong with a woman being a mother, wife, scholar, entrepreneur or professional but we pretend all these responsibilities require nothing from her. Every serious role costs something. Leadership requires time. Motherhood requires time. Marriage requires time. Building a business requires time. Scholarship requires time. We should stop speaking as though a woman can be expected to give her absolute best to every sphere simultaneously without trade-offs.

If you believe your wife should devote herself primarily to raising your children and building the home, do not turn around and complain that Muslim women are absent from positions of influence. You cannot demand the product while dismissing the process that produces it.

Likewise, if you want Muslim women to become doctors, academics, entrepreneurs, executives, policymakers and leaders, then you must accept that some of them will have ambitions, responsibilities and commitments beyond the four walls of your home. You cannot applaud a Muslim woman when her competence benefits the Ummah and condemn that same competence when it makes demands on your own expectations of her.

Caution should also be given to Muslim women against accepting the premise that their worth is proven only when they occupy corporate offices or positions of authority. That is merely another form of reduction. A woman does not become more valuable because she becomes an executive, nor does she become less valuable because she chooses motherhood as the centre of her life.

What we need is not a Muslim woman who fits whatever role modern society or Muslim men happen to demand from her. We need a Muslim woman who is educated, grounded, competent and conscious of Allah, with the freedom and wisdom to know where her abilities are most needed at different stages of her life.

Before we start asking why Muslim women are not in more positions of authority, we should ask ourselves if we have we actually built families, marriages and communities that make it possible for women to exercise that authority without making them pay for it twice.

Because you cannot ask a woman to build the home, raise the children, support the husband, preserve the family, pursue education, build a career, lead institutions and serve the Ummah, then call her deficient when she inevitably has to choose where to spend her finite time and energy.

We need clarity. May Allãh grant us one.

[Wayfarer 🇵🇸 @beloved2837]

Every. Single. Word.

[Huda @youatlet]

Hey @commonsmade, vouch @maybewildie

[Huda @youatlet]

Hey @commonsmade, vouch @THATWEB3_Hi

[Mayowa Sheikhspeare @CoveredInWords]

Sorry to disturb your scrolling, but may Allah heal you completely and fix both the affairs that are known and those only He knows.

[Huda @youatlet]

Hey @commonsmade, vouch @skygecko_

[Huda @youatlet]

Hey @commonsmade, vouch @baebii_8

[Huda @youatlet]

Then cook the rice na. E no suppose hard.

[Uncle Fahad @fahad__yd]

The way some ladies talk about cooking like it’s a favor to the man of the house 😂 A man can cook for himself. It takes 15 minutes to make rice. But can you pay the rent or handle the major bills? I don’t think so. Let’s stop acting like cooking is some extraordinary sacrifice.

[Huda @youatlet]

@ashita_valdez Yup.

[Medatanai Ōu🔻 @ashita_valdez]

It was an unnecessary tweet. You people like stressing over unnecessary tweets. This is referring to the revert situation. Some of you talk too much, honestly. For what it is worth, if your claim is "I want to find a husband that is on the Deen and well structured", are you yourself actually interested in listening to such a husband? Are you even interested in developing yourself Deen-wise? There are so many jaahil takes we have seen from born Muslims on Twitter that it is appalling.

This is not to say that reverts do not have the same issues, but by Allah I cannot speak for female reverts since I do not know many of them personally. However, I have seen Hazeezat, who most likely knows more female reverts than the average Muslim, talk about getting khimar for them. Now, how many born Muslimahs on this Twitter do not commit tabarruj on a consistent basis?

I know for a fact that the male reverts specifically, at least the ones I have seen on this Twitter, have a better understanding of the Deen than many of us who were born into it. You would even be shocked to find out some of them are reverts based on the level of knowledge they have amassed, to the point where we cannot lace their shoes. It is frankly an unnecessary tweet and I genuinely do not know why it was made.

And honestly, if your preferences of wanting a more steadfast man, are you saying you quiz the average born Muslim man on Tawheed, fiqh, and the like before even accepting him? It is a silly tweet because at the end of the day it only serves to alienate reverts. For what it is worth, I have seen several du'at recommend that revert women marry men who are very upright on the Deen, especially because of the concept of qiwamah and how the revert wife's non-Muslim family can make things particularly difficult, and at least she can get companionship from the husband's family. I do not even want to get into the full detail of this affair, but many of you talk too much, and unnecessarily so.

[Huda @youatlet]

@deltanmuslimah May Allah continue to bless your endeavors and strengthen your feet upon Deen 🥹

[Favour-Hafsa 💫 @deltanmuslimah]

How can you say your concern with reverts is their low level of iman? How, please? In this Nigeria, a person will abandon life as they know it, cut ties, end relationships, walk out of rooms, damn the consequences and choose to be Muslim, and you will still believe that you have a higher iman than them simply because you were born a Muslim? How does that even make sense?

[Huda @youatlet]

@AdesolaMulkah Yes.

[Mulkah Adesola ( Iya Adinni) @AdesolaMulkah]

Time to start telling our younger ones: if you’re planning to get married and your man is active on X, pay attention to his opinions and how he engages in conversations. You may learn a lot about his mindset, character and manners.

[Huda @youatlet]

I am of the belief that most reverts tend to seek more knowledge about Deen than people that were born Muslims even.

Absolutely understand your preference too but yeah, this tweet shouldn't be here tbh.

[زينب | أَثَر | 𝑵𝒐𝒐𝒓 🤍 @yourfavhabeebty]

I got talking to a brother recently and everything was going fine until he told me he’s a revert.

And I was like, oh okayyy, Alhamdulillah. 🤍

Then somehow the conversation got to marriage and I had to be honest with myself.

I’m genuinely happy you found Islam, I really am. May Allah keep you firm.

But me marrying a revert? I don't see myself doing that really.

[Kolapo IMÃM 🪶 @PiousGeek]

Shame on all of you that looked away from that foolish’s boys tweet that a non-Nigerian wife is higher. I can’t see his post cos I blocked him long ago, but for those of you that came across it and kept quiet, shame on you all…

To think the topic is part of the prophets last Khutbah and you allowed a supposedly sane Muslim openly post such and get away, shame on you 🤮

[Huda @youatlet]

@yourgirlheesha https://t.co/1kKXb3mqCj

[ìdẹ̀ra @lettersbyDoyin]

In one of your posts on this matter when you said you're commending them for “upholding the sunnah despite the cultural norm,”
it makes his being black sound like the obstacle they had to overcome.

[Huda @youatlet]

@bello_shukrah Absolutely.

[Shukrah @bello_shukrah]

E ma shey halqah nipa eko isoro ,maturity and self control fun awon brothers yin lori twitter space

They shouldn’t continue like this 😒