kevin

Chunky, funky, and thriving. Just trying to provide some feline perspective on the world around me.

[kevin @youngsmallkevin]

Things I wish I were good at:
Advanced mathematics
Public speaking
Jazz flute

Things I’m good at
Nervous spray shitting
Street Fighter 2

[kevin @youngsmallkevin]

Life would be better if I could hover ominously.

[kevin @youngsmallkevin]

Some of my followers call themselves “stans.” I looked up who Stan is and please don’t do that.

[kevin @youngsmallkevin]

My things. Where are my things? Where is my cat tree and my water bowl and my stink cereal? I sense change on the horizon...

[kevin @youngsmallkevin]

Meow meow meow please meow meow meow meow my translator meow meow meow meow broken meow meow

[kevin @youngsmallkevin]

Don’t feed your cats Fancy Feast it makes them insufferable. “Does your Friskies come with a gravy packet, Kevin?” You know god damn well it does not, Andrew.

[kevin @youngsmallkevin]

Happy. Full of ham.

[kevin @youngsmallkevin]

Dad often asks me questions. Why does he do this? I have never spoken.

[kevin @youngsmallkevin]

Dad doesn’t know how to switch users on twitter so “I” have been dutifully DMing his favorite baseball players. No responses yet. Turns out a lot of Baltimore Orioles are speciesist.

[kevin @youngsmallkevin]

THAKNFUL FOR HA M

[kevin @youngsmallkevin]

Bite the hand that feeds me, call that catnip.

[kevin @youngsmallkevin]

I don’t understand things.

[kevin @youngsmallkevin]

@deadmeatjames I thought you might like this Friday V painting my girlfriend made me for my birthday

[Steak-umm @steak_umm]

vote-umm

[kevin @youngsmallkevin]

A billion years of evolution shaping the ultimate predator... and I walk like a dog in a moving car.

[kevin @youngsmallkevin]

I be like “I know a spot” and then lead you downstairs to my food bowl.

[kevin @youngsmallkevin]

Clams are just armored boogers.

[kevin @youngsmallkevin]

People ask me if I know I’m famous. Of course I do, I had to start locking my windows because Perez Hilton kept getting in at night.

[kevin @youngsmallkevin]

How Can Mirrors Be Real If Our Eyes Aren’t Real?

[kevin @youngsmallkevin]

Hi zorldo

[Curious Zelda @CuriousZelda]

@youngsmallkevin KEVIN 😻