Please. Kindly. Date someone who actually desires you.
Not someone who desires what you can give them. Not someone who desires the aesthetic of you. Not someone who desires the photo dumps, the status, the validation of being seen with you. Date someone who desires you. Your presence. Your mind. Your quiet. Your laughter. Your ordinary days.
Date someone who wants to experience the beauty of life with you. Someone who wants to cook with you, laugh with you, share a meal with you. Someone who wants to take a walk to the park, have a picnic, nature, sit in comfortable silence at home. Someone who wants to visit museums, zoos, evening strolls. Someone who wants to snack together, bathe together, simply be together. Not someone who is only interested in the performance of love. Not someone who uses you for aesthetic dates and curated content. Not someone who encourages you to be financially reckless, clubbing everyday or emotionally drained.
Date someone who genuinely loves you.
Someone who loves you on the ordinary days. Someone who loves you when you are not dressed up. Someone who loves you when you are tired, quiet, struggling. Someone who loves you not for how you look on their arm, but for how you feel in their heart.
during arousal the vaginal canal elongates by roughly 200%
and the cervix rises upward in a process called tenting. this takes 15 to 25 minutes to complete. most men enter before the process is finished and then wonder why she's uncomfortable or why the deep positions aren't working.
the unaroused vaginal canal is approximately 3 to 4 inches long. fully aroused it extends to 5 to 7 inches. the cervix, which sits at the end of the canal, lifts upward and creates a pocket of space beneath it. this pocket is where the anterior and posterior fornix zones sit. the zones responsible for the deepest female orgasms are physically inaccessible until tenting is complete.
the mechanism is blood flow. arousal increases blood flow to the vaginal walls. the tissue engorges and the muscular walls relax and expand. the uterus lifts slightly through ligament tension. the entire architecture of the internal space changes shape. what was a short tight corridor becomes a longer more spacious chamber specifically designed to accommodate deeper stimulation without pain.
this is why the same position that hurts at minute 5 feels incredible at minute 25. the anatomy literally changed shape between those two moments. the cervix that was being hit uncomfortably at minute 5 has lifted out of the way by minute 25. the space that didn't exist now exists. the zones that were unreachable are now exposed.
the men who complain "she can't handle deep positions" are almost always the men who attempted deep positions before her body was finished preparing for them. the body wasn't the limitation. the timeline was.
20 minutes of foreplay is not a suggestion based on politeness. it is the biological minimum required for the internal architecture to finish reshaping itself into the configuration where the best positions and the deepest orgasms become physically possible. anything before that and you're navigating a room that hasn't finished building itself.
imagine the longest nights.. sleep deprived, sore and not having a coherent thought in 2 weeks but the person next to you still makes you laugh and brings a smile to your face.. this is winning the lottery