when i was in college i used to be the Roofie Tester for girls who thought their drinks might be drugged. i wasn’t actually doing it out of the kindness of my heart i just wanted free drugs
I MIGHT BE WIFELESS. BUT AT LEAST I HAVE A SMOKER’S COUGH THAT PRODUCES THE TYPE OF PHLEGM THAT TASTES GOOD AND CHEWS LIKE BUBBLE YUM BUBBLE GUM. THIS IS ACTUALLY WHY I’M WIFELESS. SHE SAID IT’S ME OR THE PHLEGM. BITCH EX WIVES AMIRITE?