Zach W

Glasses, jacket, shirt...call me glasses jacket shirt man.

[Zach W @zach_wehner_]

Heard myself refer to college students as “these young kids” the other day. So I guess I’m back on twitter now.

[Zach W @zach_wehner_]

Dad: Honey, the Notebook is on, wanna watch it?
Mom: How bout the Red Sox?
Dad:

[Zach W @zach_wehner_]

@Krissay954 @GameOfThrones Can I have your login password?

[Zach W @zach_wehner_]

I’m always dumbfounded that doctors can do some complicated procedures, but they can’t put a band-aid on someone without messing it up.

[Zach W @zach_wehner_]

Singing in my car to no music, wanted to sing a different song, so I hit the skip button thinking that would change the song.

[Zach W @zach_wehner_]

I think my benchmark for realizing if a song is really good is when I Shazam it, forget about it, then Shazam it again days later because it’s such a good song.

[Zach W @zach_wehner_]

@Krissay954 I do what I can.

[Zach W @zach_wehner_]

@Krissay954 Keep it up

[Zach W @zach_wehner_]

@Krissay954 Great work

[Zach W @zach_wehner_]

@Krissay954 Awesome

[Zach W @zach_wehner_]

@Krissay954 Way to gooo

[Zach W @zach_wehner_]

If you want to keep people from standing in the doorway all the time, just put mistletoe in each one and watch awkwardness ensue as they try to scramble into the room.

[Zach W @zach_wehner_]

Dreamt last night that I played “Bubbly” over and over again. Every time the line “can you count me in” came up, it was in Gollum’s voice.

[Zach W @zach_wehner_]

Imagine receiving a notification if your name was mentioned in a texting conversation, but never knowing who was in the convo.

[Zach W @zach_wehner_]

@So_Mo94 @Problem_Child3 @mobass7193 I agree with @Problem_Child3

[Zach W @zach_wehner_]

Ways to entertain yourself while on hold: Make up lyrics to the music they subject you to.

[Zach W @zach_wehner_]

I dreamt last night that I commented on how weird someone's ventriloquist dummy looked and it turned out to be a person. That's all.

[Zach W @zach_wehner_]

I've never had anyone try to convince me of something as hard as a cashier trying to get me to join their rewards program.

[Zach W @zach_wehner_]

I'd like to take a moment to apologize to the people who thought I was mad at them while dancing. Don't worry, it was just my focused face.

[Zach W @zach_wehner_]

How come all the futuristic movies have really uncomfortable looking metal chairs?