zach

Handing out compliments like it's welfare since 1994.

[zach @zachfritsch]

I want to start a Wisconsinite only dating app called, “Cheese meets Curd” except you don’t swipe left or right, you swipe “Ope” or “Let me squeeze right by ya”

[zach @zachfritsch]

I hope and pray that one day school shootings only exist in history textbooks and we can say "This is what used to happen before we changed things"

[zach @zachfritsch]

Trying to figure out how to watch someone's snap story like

[zach @zachfritsch]

Coastin into the weekend like

[zach @zachfritsch]

Nothing roasts someone better than calling them a cotton headed ninny muggins 🔥🎄

[zach @zachfritsch]

Seeing all these snaps of Friendsgiving's and thinking "Aw that looks nice", while I lay in bed alone and my Ben & Jerry's is melting on me

[zach @zachfritsch]

This election has my palms sweaty, knees weak, arms are heavy
Ken Bone sweater ready, Hillary's spaghetti etc.

[zach @zachfritsch]

If you took a shot for every "sexy cat" dressed white girl screaming at the DJ to play Closer this weekend, you are most likely dead.

[zach @zachfritsch]

90's babies will go on to do great things, even though we were the ones to type "5318008" into calculators because it looked like "boobies"

[zach @zachfritsch]

*drops mic*

[zach @zachfritsch]

I imagine finding love is a lot like that feeling when you think your fries are all gone then you find more at the bottom of the bag.

[zach @zachfritsch]

I'm at a very fragile time in my life that I could adopt an animal at any second

[zach @zachfritsch]

These Olympic commercials are so epic and inspiring but so is the fact I can fit ten Oreos in my mouth

[zach @zachfritsch]

If I die alone and lonely I'm blaming it on the fact my AOL screen name was homeworkh8r21

[zach @zachfritsch]

Anybody with a good heart deserves to be in love and treated with respect while in love

[zach @zachfritsch]

People my age are getting engaged and here I am struggling to decide what I want on my pizza.

[zach @zachfritsch]

Summerfest drinking game: take a drink for every white girl with white converse & a flannel tied around her waste. Alcohol poisoning likely.

[zach @zachfritsch]

GO TO SLEEP DRUNK, WAKE UP GRADUATED

[zach @zachfritsch]

@devoelaura @hunterrlau there are #NoRulez

[zach @zachfritsch]

When your parents ask how exam week is going and you try to hide the fact your future is in jeopardy