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[Δ @ZakPalermo]

@Samm_Loftus Don't

[Pittsburgh Penguins @penguins]

GOAL! THE PENGUINS TIE IT UP! UNBELIEVABLE! THE CROWD GOES WILD!

[Δ @ZakPalermo]

@SB_Chris24 orpik has gone heel since he went to the crapitals

[Δ @ZakPalermo]

Craigslist wasn't feelin my post

[Δ @ZakPalermo]

I listen to classical music when I'm baking because I know my bread likes it and it always comes out better. No joke.

[brent @murrman5]

we'll miss everything about brent except his pranks they were the worst [hears everyone at my funeral agree and I shift nervously in casket]

[Pittsburgh Penguins @penguins]

The Pittsburgh Penguins will honor Dan Rooney by wearing special helmet decals tonight.

[NFL @NFL]

A look back at the life of Dan Rooney. https://t.co/eEOJweoxYX

[the garbage shit boy @davedittell]

pretty sure I'm dating arthritis

[jonny sun @jonnysun]

WAT the HECK is BRUCNH its NOT lunch its NOT dinner,, when ur YOUNG u goto it to feel OLD and when uR OLD u GO TO feel YOUNG?? mad abt brunc

[jonny sun @jonnysun]

i hav cat-like reflexes
"prove it"
*looks at a cat*
(instantly) i like that cat

[brent @murrman5]

[wife sees derek jeter crying and slamming bedroom door]
"what's wrong with derek jeter?"
she's still upset we named her after derek jeter

[Δ @ZakPalermo]

Woke up earlier to find out I won my first and only March madness bracket I've ever filled out...

[Δ @ZakPalermo]

Crosby is so tired of scoring goals on the forehand, that he now exclusively shoots backhand...

[Δ @ZakPalermo]

See you in the pit.

[Δ @ZakPalermo]

@Samm_Loftus would rather see more 3v3

[several onions @Amusitr0n]

sometimes I wish the bell hadn't saved those kids

[Δ @ZakPalermo]

@PensInsideScoop @penguins orpik...