gulgulgul

eeeeeEEEEeee cwscaredtocheck gw52

[gulgulgul @zdechlysosa]

꒰ #edtwt intro ꒱

⟡ ۶ৎ drugs ⸝⸝ ed vent ꕤ *.ﾟ
sonia ゛23yo 𑁋 169cm bmi 17s | gw 48kg
♱ pl eng ⊹ mdni ♱
uni student ⋮ books ⋮ games ⋮ fashion ⋮ new hobbies

⚠︎ bpd ⊹ adhd
───୨ৎ───
ᰔ / ↻ for moots ⟢ ifb ᵎᵎ

˚₊‧꒰ა ₍ᐢ.  ̫.ᐢ₎ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚

[gulgulgul @zdechlysosa]

i genuinely have no hope

[gulgulgul @zdechlysosa]

most ppl around me have nice things happening to them n i’m so happy with their circumstances but at the same time it hurts that i always end up in shitty ones

[gulgulgul @zdechlysosa]

i wnna kms bruh i’m so tired of ts i hate my life it nvr gets better

[ᴏʙᴇꜱᴇ ᴏʀᴘʜᴀɴ @b0nef1res]

the problem with EDs is that you truly think you’re in control of food but most of the time you’re just waiting for your next allowed meal like a starved cat on a timed feeder

[gulgulgul @zdechlysosa]

i gotta go back to 52kg before i see him at the end of january

[gulgulgul @zdechlysosa]

welcome back edtwt 💔

[gulgulgul @zdechlysosa]

i got fat help omfg thought i’m healing but i started liking this guy n i stalked too bad n realized his ex was the best ana no way i will swallow glass shards in a sec

[gulgulgul @zdechlysosa]

why do i have to be such a antisocial freak that can’t interact normally

[gulgulgul @zdechlysosa]

i want this to be over i overthink EVERY interaction after it had happened and look for any possible fuckups on my end

[gulgulgul @zdechlysosa]

i say weird n random shit in a weird way and it gives off bad vibes n i can tell ppl r tired of speaking with me omfg like the conversation starts nice and then i can feel the shift as i struggle to form coherent sentences

[gulgulgul @zdechlysosa]

please why am i so awkward with people i literally have no social skills

[gulgulgul @zdechlysosa]

i fkn hate myself so much omfg

[gulgulgul @zdechlysosa]

he cooks in a way so it’s not a lot of oil or anything so id feel comfortable and if i could force myself to eat his dinners again maybe it would be easier for him but i just can’t n it makes me feel so egoistic

[gulgulgul @zdechlysosa]

when i started losing my partner accidentally lost too (almost the same fk amount) bc he stopped cooking for me n lost interest in eating when its without me n i’m freakin out that it’s my fault coz he’s almost classified as underweight now n it’s hard for him to hit maintenance

[gulgulgul @zdechlysosa]

his chest bones r extremely visible n it’s my fault
we had to talk abt it because all food at our apartment is low cal etc n since we both dont eat meat (i eat sea food tho n he eats meat only on occasion) he doesn’t really buy anything separate so he’s been running on ana food

[gulgulgul @zdechlysosa]

i’m so fucked in the head that a part of me feels so scared for him but some tiny part is triggered that it was accidental and effortless n he literally lost almost the same amount as me and i was trying so hard n i feel embarrassed… i feel like such a fkn bad person

[gulgulgul @zdechlysosa]

@reistarves have you spoken w him about this?

[gulgulgul @zdechlysosa]

i hate my legs so much they’re gigantic i want to cry omfg please can this fat just disappear i’m begging

[gulgulgul @zdechlysosa]

i don’t know what happened but i feel even fatter omfg
it’s probably coz i didn’t pay attention to protein for past 20days
i rly tried to give myself a break from all of this but now i’m regretting everything

[gulgulgul @zdechlysosa]

@5lonelystar stabilizers gang