Z M

Me, with an added hint of Kevin Federline

[Z M @zed_fed]

Serious question - does anyone know someone who has ACTUALLY gotten sick from raw cookie dough? Because I definitely partake and I don’t even give it a second thought and not sure how much risk I’m actually taking with my life

[Z M @zed_fed]

All my former targeted ads didn’t receive my clicks (engament/wedding stuff, baby stuff). Big Ad now believes instead I chose to be a baller instead of taking a traditional life path and is now sending me Versace targeted ads. #justdontclick

[Z M @zed_fed]

I kind of want to get TikTok but only because I am loving all the international music people use #imofficiallyold

[Z M @zed_fed]

Weekend plans: attempting to defy death by skirting salmonella poisoning and eating more raw cookie dough than I should #noregrets #yet

[Z M @zed_fed]

I’m back after a year hiatus on twitter. What did I miss?

[Z M @zed_fed]

That beautiful feeling when you were just about to take out the garbage/recycling/green bin only to realize it’s postponed a day because of labour day #tomorrowsproblem

[Z M @zed_fed]

@TotallyTayyaba @JustinTrudeau I see you

[Z M @zed_fed]

@AGoldmund my name is Zehra and I sit in the shower. But only standup showers because I don’t like when the water hits me on an angle. I prefer my showers to mimic gentle rainfalls

[Z M @zed_fed]

Mostly hidden but you can see his paws and ears poking out

[Z M @zed_fed]

I also can’t stop obsessively checking on my cat through my web cam. This thing was meant to be used as a home-security system but I think this is a much better use of my time

[Z M @zed_fed]

Update: he just hopped into the hammock/chair. I can tell because it’s still rocking

[Z M @zed_fed]

Also, I love it when he gives me side-eye when I spy on him

[Z M @zed_fed]

Now that I’m biking, I feel justified in eating junk food all the time. I’m legit eating Miss Vickie’s right now (at my desk, AT work) and debating going for donuts at lunch. What have I become?!?!

[Z M @zed_fed]

Do I really have to pee, or am I just looking for any excuse to not work right now?

[Z M @zed_fed]

Update: identity confirmed and it is NOT who I expected. I don’t know how I feel right now

[Z M @zed_fed]

Some older person at my work has LMFAO’s song Sexy and I Know It (aka wiggle song) as their ring tone and I don’t know if it’s the greatest thing or worst thing ever #judginghard

[Z M @zed_fed]

@Hallwaygirl I actually haven’t been able to pinpoint who it is yet but I know the general cubical zone ;)

[Z M @zed_fed]

I’m not one to judge, but when you start peeing before me, and are still peeing after I’ve done my business and flushed, I start to have questions

[Z M @zed_fed]

@KITKATca Maybe you can help #toomuchchocolate

[Z M @zed_fed]

@KITKAT I bit into my kit kat expecting that fantastic combo of chocolate and wafer but there was no wafer! My road trip is ruined! #givemeabreak