Armand Zerilli

Internet computer man. Beware of even cheaper imitations.

[Armand Zerilli @zerilliworks]

Folks, I’d like to say that I don’t drink at night, that’s not why the tweets get weird. The tweets get weird because

i m w e i r d

[Armand Zerilli @zerilliworks]

@pancake_puppies sorry

[Armand Zerilli @zerilliworks]

@pancake_puppies Me to all my dates before they come over: "don't floss. I want you nice and sexy"

[Armand Zerilli @zerilliworks]

@pancake_puppies Big piece of salad

[Cass Marshall @RequineGG]

"ladies and gentlemen"
❌ unnecessarily gendered
❌ overly formal
❌ lengthy
❌ honestly i'm already dozing off

"cowards"
✔️inclusive to all genders
✔️casual and fun
✔️short and to the point
✔️exciting and dynamic

[Topher Florence @topherflorence]

jerry seinfeld on his back porch grilling exactly one vegan hotdog on extremely low heat for two hours

every five minutes he thinks to himself: cars AND coffee? damn i'm good

[Armand Zerilli @zerilliworks]

@pancake_puppies I tried to nominate you for last year, but the committee is so hard to get ahold of

[revenant @notrevenant]

who called it DJing instead of banger management

[Armand Zerilli @zerilliworks]

@mochini7

[Armand Zerilli @zerilliworks]

The neighbors are keeping me up oh my God I am about ready to wrap my lips around a lightbulb and chew

[Rory Preddy @rorypreddy]

Big Enter key

[Armand Zerilli @zerilliworks]

@pancake_puppies

[Armand Zerilli @zerilliworks]

@pancake_puppies Fuck, another celebrity I now have to be mad at

[Armand Zerilli @zerilliworks]

In October of 2017, me and my coachmates passed a couple hours on Amtrak with Janeane Garofalo. Best time I’ve ever had on the Lake Shore Limited.

[Armand Zerilli @zerilliworks]

@pancake_puppies Probably for the best

[Armand Zerilli @zerilliworks]

None of you rascals had better mess with me today. I just solved a programming problem I’ve been stuck on for two days and I’m feeling very powerful, like a bulldozer, or a space shuttle.

[Armand Zerilli @zerilliworks]

@pancake_puppies That one is definitely worth a follow-up

[Armand Zerilli @zerilliworks]

@pancake_puppies People have died summiting everest, dude. Befriend a taco bell employee and let them be your #nachosherpa