Matthew Wells

woof

[Julia @BisonJoke]

Very satisfying ending to #MareOfEasttown where the whole family goes to Rita’s for free water ice on opening day

[Stephen King @StephenKing]

Hey kids—The Stoneman Douglas shootings are off the front page, and the NRA sweethearts are starting to relax. Starting to tell each other, “We got through this before, we’ll get through it this time.” Don’t let them do it.

[National School Walkout @schoolwalkoutUS]

On Friday, April 20th we want students to attend school and then promptly WALK-OUT at 10:00 am. Sit outside your schools and peacefully protest. Make some noise. Voice your thoughts. "We are students, we are victims, we are change."

[wheels @wheelswordsmith]

while she never actually wrote it into the books jk rowling has confirmed that draco malfoy was a libertarian vape enthusiast deeply invested in bitcoin

[Senator Adam Schiff @SenAdamSchiff]

Have you seen the new GOP hashtag? It's quite a doozy:

ReleaseTheMemoNoNotThatMemoInTheInterestofFullTransparencyNotThatMuchTransparencyWhatDoWeDoLetsHaveAParade

[Brooks Otterlake @i_zzzzzz]

I like to open up textbooks and draw quotation marks on the first and last page, reducing all their facts to mere speculation

[Brooks Otterlake @i_zzzzzz]

ME: A Welsh rarebit, with a poached egg on top -- not too runny -- bacon, scones... butter... cream... jam -- not strawberry. What else?
BURGER KING DRIVE-THRU: [inaudible]

[David Harbour @DavidKHarbour]

125k retweets. Provided date works with s3 shooting schedule, I will get ordained and perform ceremony. I get to read an esteemed love letter of my choosing, and after the cake is officially cut, I get the very first piece. #allthecakes https://t.co/rSku8qD7uT

[Derek Milman @DerekMilman]

Photo of the decade: Doug Jones being sworn in, while his openly gay son QUIETLY DISINTEGRATES THE SOUL OF MIKE PENCE.

[Matthew Wells @zerobark30]

@davehenning woof