Michael W Urtis

Living intentionally.

[Michael W Urtis @zerodarkurtee]

Shameful to see a game end like that. Love the US advancing, but you just can’t make a call like that #wbcbaseball

[Michael W Urtis @zerodarkurtee]

Overtime penalties are so deflating. Ends the game 8 out of 10 times

[Michael W Urtis @zerodarkurtee]

Shohei Ohtani are you serious

[Michael W Urtis @zerodarkurtee]

@YouTube if you don’t fix your app soon I’m gonna lose my marbles. As soon as I’m done eating in this stupid silence without any videos playing

[Michael W Urtis @zerodarkurtee]

@PandaExpress cmon. What kind of portion is this

[Michael W Urtis @zerodarkurtee]

I will never be an umbrella in the sun kinda guy

[Michael W Urtis @zerodarkurtee]

Being a Pirates fan has to suck

[Michael W Urtis @zerodarkurtee]

Bring back the courtesy wave. Letting someone merge in deserves the courtesy wave

[Michael W Urtis @zerodarkurtee]

@JonHeyman Jon, do you have any update on a Bubba Chandler call-up? Feels like it could happen any day now

[Michael W Urtis @zerodarkurtee]

Slow walkers need to pick up the pace.

[Michael W Urtis @zerodarkurtee]

Dude at Tropical Smoothie asked me if I wanted an apple as my side so I said sure. Buddy gave me a whole Granny Smith apple as the side — you gotta specify if you’re gonna give me a green apple. I would’ve chosen the banana

[Michael W Urtis @zerodarkurtee]

Do people on scooters know how dumb they look?

[Michael W Urtis @zerodarkurtee]

I just want to go back to the Kane - Toews Blackhawks. Is that too much to ask?

[Michael W Urtis @zerodarkurtee]

Hate a guy that doesn’t pay attention to the line. Move forward idiot!

[Michael W Urtis @zerodarkurtee]

The dad nudge is so underrated. Just a small reminder that somebody looks silly in public. Never met a kid that didn’t blush from one of those

[Michael W Urtis @zerodarkurtee]

@NFL_DovKleiman What a terrible take. There’s a reason nobody has heard of this guy

[Michael W Urtis @zerodarkurtee]

Dude at chipotle just gave me the fattest scoop of guac I’ve ever received on a burrito and I’m not sure whether to be happy or upset about it. Every bite has guac

[Michael W Urtis @zerodarkurtee]

@NickStofe Definitely jinxed it Stof

[Michael W Urtis @zerodarkurtee]

I don’t know if I’ll ever feel as much happiness again after watching showtime rip it home in OT in his return to the UC

[Michael W Urtis @zerodarkurtee]

Zach LaVine to me is like Phil Kessel was to a Toronto Maple Leafs fan. He’s good enough to make us a winning team, but not enough to get a ring