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@ZeroWhiteUltra
I have a favorite drink, and I’ll give a high five to anyone who figures it out
Joined July 2026
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"I'm warning you now boy, if that wonderful Malfoy girl isn't your date to the Yule Ball, I'm cooking Hedwig on a slow roast."
Continuing the series...
Harry Potter & The Chamber of Secrets, with Malfoid instead of Draco.
All original credit to JK Rowling for a lot of the book's content (and also @LibertyPat4c for original outline and idea)
Dropbox Link: https://t.co/8aln4QjNoC
#malfoid #fanfic
One of the most enlightening takes on Malfoid that I've seen so far was a YouTube video I watched today that has since been lost to the aether.
At the end of the video he made the point that this kind of story is extremely culturally important for the right. Not because it's conquering a leftist beloved IP or because it reintroduces beauty and romance to storytelling. Not that those aren't fine things.
No it does something much bigger.
For at least two decades we in the west have been subjected to nothing but deconstructive storytelling. Every expectation and trope is so routinely subverted that we know the story from the start. Its why so much modern media is just...
...boring.
Because God forbid the guy actually get the girl, the bad guy be bad and get his comeuppance, or the ending be at all happy. (Aside: I believe this is responsible for the recent rise in eastern media)
But I digress. What Malfoid actually is, is an inversion of the deconstruction of media. Its taking a broken story and making it whole. It takes a plot that was ok but flawed, and uses traditional story telling to fill in those gaps and create a recognizable pattern that elevates the whole thing.
He doesn't call it this in the video, but I like to think of it as "reconstructive" or "restorative" story telling: the elevation of a story by the inclusion of traditional storytelling methods and tropes so that it speaks to what is true about the human condition.
There was one other example he gave that comes, of all places, from Star Wars. While almost all of modern Star Wars under Kathleen Kennedy was deconstructionist crap, one show stood out: The Mandolorian.
After the debasement of Luke Skywalker in the ironically name Rise of Skywalker, many people were extremely discouraged. Mark Hamill himself said that he didn't agree with anything that his character was doing and he didn't recognize Luke by the end.
In steps Jon Favreau and Dave Filoni, and in the final scene of season 1 of The Mandolorian we get to see Luke Skywalker back in his rightful spot as the Big Damn Hero, doing the Right Thing and Saving The Day. Grown men cried watching that scene; once again seeing their childhood hero back in his rightful roll.
It was reconstructive, restorative even, and why the left went all-out attacking the show.
I know we all lament the idea of Malfoid fading even if we know it's inevitable. What we should do though is learn from it and take those lessons forward to new projects, be they fanfic or entirely new IPs:
- understand that "creative" work is not the domain of the left
- avoid deconstruction at all costs and instead speak to the truth of human nature
- embrace traditional western storytelling
On that last point, I want to remind y'all that not every story is a love story. The western storytelling tradition is rich with different story tropes that each serve a purpose: tragedy (Anakin and Padame in the prequel series), comedy (White Christmas), heroes journey (Dartanian from Three Musketeers), great quest (LoTR), rebirth (Kousko in Emperor's New Groove or the Beast in Beauty and the Beast), rags to riches (Edmond in Count of Monte Cristo).
There's more, but you get the idea. Don't be afraid to retell these stories again and again. They resonate so well because they speak to fundamental elements of the human condition.
Its tempting to wonder what other stories are out there that might be a tweak or two away from greatness, but I wouldn't get hung up on that. You aren't gonna catch lightning in a bottle twice.
Instead I say look forward, using these lessions, and build something great from the ground up, borrowing pieces from the past to build the future.
@TheEbonyMaw @Strittposter God I hope so. I hate how every endgame couple in fiction splits up in the sequel/reboot because “It’s unrealistic they’d stay together”. I don’t know, maybe writers wouldn’t think that if they didn’t always use their own parents as examples.
again
If you check the comment section, you’ll see nothing but a pasture
NEW: GTA 6 will officially be eligible for The Game Awards in December. Cut-off date has been confirmed to be November 20th.
With journalists allegedly being given weeks of playtime in advance before launch, I’m predicting a sweep for Rockstar. Exciting times.
During the summers, Cedric Diggory made pocket money by working as a reporter for the Daily Prophet.
His weekly feature "To Petrify a Predator" was shut down after a Ministry of Magic official Avada Kedavra'd himself
Watching Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone and stopping when the false Malfoid shows up
Yes, Mr. Dan Bilzerian Smuggling Drugs Up His Ass Groyper, I did enjoy your complete rewrite of Harry Potter & The Philosopher’s Stone, with Malfoid instead of Draco.
I expect the complete rewrite of Harry Potter & The Chamber of Secrets, with Malfoid instead of Draco, on my desk no later than 10:00 AM tomorrow morning.
Here it is... My complete rewrite for Harry Potter & The Philosopher's Stone, with Malfoid instead of Draco.
Dropbox:
https://t.co/ivbvFDX9k0
Copyright disclaimer included in the rewrite (all original stuff credited to JK Rowling)
#malfoid #fanfic #HarryPotter
@KingChud420 Sick nasty
Unfortunately there’s another one on page 120, or rather 124 of 169.
Malfoy, Crabbe, and Goyle howled with laughter, but Ron, still not daring to take his eyes from the game,
said, “You tell him, Neville.”
@KingChud420 Also on page 77 it reads, “always seemed to end with him narrowly escaping…”
Hopefully I’m not a bother to you btw
#malfoid #dracaena #harrypotter #fanfic after the war episode 2 (bear with me it'll be a long one) || 1/2
No matter the season, Hogsmeade has always been a nice place to be. Today was no exception, since Harry Potter and Dracaena Malfoy had both defeated the Dark Lord together–once and for all–just hours earlier. The difference was, the entire village was so peaceful and serene, with just one or two wizards strolling the streets, trying to clean the mess that was the war.
The two strolled ever so slowly toward the Three Broomsticks with Dracaena clinging to his right arm, making sure that he didn't disappear again. Harry quite enjoyed that actually, both of them still casually throwing jabs and insults at each other–with occasional, small jinxes here and there–yet they share warmth now just as there was between ordinary Hogwarts students.
Normal, now that’s something that I’ve never felt before, Harry thought to himself. The thought made him happier.
Passing through boarded-up Zonko’s and what appeared to be a rather deserted Honeydukes, the two finally arrived in front of the Three Broomsticks (even though Harry wished that the stroll would be a tad bit longer, he enjoyed that) when all of a sudden, she stopped as though her feet were planted to the ground.
He felt her grip tighten, her gaze grew distant, and her body trembled as though she were facing a Dementor in front of the door to the inn. The memory of the incident in which Dracaena had put Madam Rosmerta under the Imperius Curse during her sixth-year antics clearly still left a bad taste in her mouth.
Harry removed his own Gryffindor-colored scarf, looped it around her neck, and planted a little kiss on her cheek with an understanding look. “I get that you're the ice queen and everything, but it seems to me that you need to warm yourself up a bit” he says, softly.
The gesture snapped Dracaena back to the present, replacing the shame and regret that had built up inside her with fuzzy warmth that only he could bring. She wanted to retort, perhaps even land a quick jab, but the understanding look he gave her when their eyes met only made her heart flutter harder.
He knows, and he forgave me for it, she thought to herself.
She averted her gaze; suddenly, the floor seemed much more interesting. Her cheeks grew warmer, and the tips of her ears turned redder.
“I swear, Potter… how can someone be so kind yet so infuriating at the same time?” she muttered, burying her face deeper into his scarf.
“Haha, guess some things haven't really changed, huh? Come on, then. Let’s warm ourselves up” He tugged her along by the arm, and took her inside.
Three Broomsticks Inn was neither the fanciest nor extravagant, yet it had always been warm and welcoming. The pub was filled with witches and wizards having a drink or two after the war, exchanging stories, laughs, and heartfelt condolences over their loss of loved ones. One table was rowdy, an elderly-looking wizard in a lavish purple robe was boasting about how many Death Eaters he took down last night in the castle. Another was silent, two young witches huddling together with a drink in their hands, gazing towards the flame of a candle on their table, their expressions sad yet peaceful.
Harry led Dracaena past the small crowds and tables, trying not to draw attention, and headed straight toward the end of the bar. Madam Rosmerta was at the other side, talking with someone Harry recognized wearing ministry robes when she noticed the two.
“My, my– the two saviours of witches and wizards alike, sneaking into my humble establishment rather than celebrating their victory inside Hogwarts. What can I get you both then?” Madam Rosmerta smiled. She put down two empty glasses on the counter.
“Two butterbeers, please, and thank you, Madam” Harry reached into his pocket to pay, but the Madam stopped him.
“Now, now boy, it'll be on the house. Can't have my heroes paying on their glorious day. Take it as a thank-you from me.” she insisted. Harry smiled and took a seat at the end of the counter, with Dracaena reluctantly following beside him.
“Ah and another thing, Madam”
“What is it, my boy?”
“Someone has something to confess,” Harry smirked and gave Dracaena a sidelong glance. She squealed, lowered her gaze and felt very uncomfortable being put on the spot like this. She tried to calm herself with a gulp and summoned every bit of courage left in her to look up and meet Rosmerta’s gaze to face the consequences of her actions, yet the truth was far from what she feared.
Madam Rosmerta smiled.
It was a smile of pure understanding, albeit tinged with sadness. She understood that Dracaena had been in no position to stand up against the Dark Lord when her family was at risk. Had Rosmerta been in Dracaena’s position, she might have done the same.
“It’s okay, my dear. You don’t have to explain anything to me, and I know you Malfoys are bad with so-called apologies. So save your breath, and drink up, all right? And don’t you dare be a stranger,” the Madam reassured her while filling their glasses with piping hot butterbeer–perfect for the cold Hogsmeade morning–before serving other wizards that have just arrived.
Dracaena was shocked beyond belief, having grown up in an environment where ‘kindness’ and ‘forgiveness’ were foreign to her. She turned towards Harry, who winked at her with a grin before downing his glass of butterbeer. She rested her head on his shoulder and took a sip of her drink. The butterbeer was nice and warm, though her cheeks were already from moments earlier. Apparently facing your fears isn’t as scary as you think it would be, most of the time anyways.
“Well then,” Harry said after a few moments of silence, the two of them soaking up the atmosphere with their drinks half finished, “I suppose I owe you explanations.”
“A great many, and don’t you dare skip on any details.”
***
He tried his best to recount everything that had happened over the past year: the Departure of the Seven Potters, the wedding, the trio’s Horcrux hunt, the Deathly Hallows, how he had won the allegiance of the Elder Wand, and even his experience of dying at the Dark Lord’s hands. He also told her about his meeting with Dumbledore and the conversation they had there.
Although she tried her best to hide it, her face betrayed a wide range of emotions, much to Harry’s surprise. She showed particular interest in the Deathly Hallows, in line with her fascination with dark artefacts. Her eyes grew teary when she heard about his reunion with his parents.
“I don’t even know if it was the afterlife or not. After talking to him, I heard your voice, urging me to come back and threatening to kill me if I died there,” Harry recounted. His gaze was distant, yet his grin was as warm as the butterbeer in his hands.
“M-my voice? Why would my voice be—” She stopped, remembering how she had prayed to anything that would answer her prayers for his safety the night before.
“I don’t know, Drae. I never understood the whys and hows, but you did help me somehow, so thank you.” He brushed his hand against her cheek, wiping away the butterbeer foam stuck beneath her nose. She quickly pulled back and fixed her gaze on the table, blushing.
At the end of his story, a heavy silence fell between them as they tried to absorb everything that had happened.
“Well, that’s my side of the story. Adventurous, don’t you think?” Harry smirked, though his gaze remained a little distant.
“Befitting for a rascal such as you, Potter.”
“How was your school year, then? You seemed a bit down when we fought at Malfoy Manor” Harry cackled, downplaying her entire breakdown back on Easter vacation.
“Well, now that you asked, my entire school year was filled with sadness and sorrow, thank you for asking,” Dracaena muttered bitterly, gazing at her unfinished butterbeer.
“I heard you helped cover for Neville and the other members of Dumbledore’s Army when they got into trouble?”
“To be frank, Harry, I felt like an Inferius watching Longbottom’s detention sessions with the Carrows. Well, less detention, more Longbottom-as-curse-training-dummy. The moment Alecto casted Sectumsempra to him–”
Dracaena paused, instinctively reaching for the scar beneath her chest, the one Harry had given her in their sixth year. “Let’s just say that I can’t stand the Carrows. Doing nothing would only have tarnished my family name–not that it matters anymore.” She brushed aside the topic, downing what’s left of her drink.
“Even so, you’ve changed, Dracy. For better or worse. At least, the Miss Malfoy I used to know wouldn’t bat an eye at the sight of what she considered weakness,” Harry said mockingly. “Oh, don’t get me wrong. I’m the heiress of The Malfoy Family, purest of the purebloods, and I won't give a single moment of my day to anyone I deem beneath me!” Harry imitates her body language with an ear to ear grin.
“Langlock!” Dracaena growled as she flicked her wand. Her face was as red as it could get, though it was impossible to tell whether the colour came from the butterbeer or the shame she had accumulated over the years. He even nailed her subtle chin raise and how she always tries to look down on whoever she was talking to. “Merlin’s beard, Potter...”
Harry was taken aback as his tongue stuck to the roof of his mouth, releasing a muffled cackle while trying to dispel the jinx with the wand he took from the Dark Lord. He succeeded in the first try, his new wand working well as if it had been his friend for years.
“Funny how the first spell I cast with the wand I took from him was one to dispel a jinx you used on me.” Harry relaxed his jaw, though his tongue still feet strange.
“Laugh all you want Mr. Hero, I’m in a good mood currently and I’d rather not spoil it with you vomiting slugs like Weasley did,” She hissed.
“What was it about me and slugs again?” Ron and Hermione suddenly appeared, dragging an empty table toward the counter as they joined the two. Ron raised his right brow in disdain.
“Nothing of your concern, Ron” Harry answered, while pulling Dracaena closer to him.
“Well then, Dracaena, can we get our Potter back? Seems you had him in your palms all morning long.” Hermione chuckled teasingly, albeit kinder compared to the usual.
“And what is it to you, Mu–Granger?” Dracaena tried to put on her ice queen front, which was met with Hermione’s shocked gasp. Not because of her sudden defensive act, but another thing.
“Merlin’s bloody beard, Malfoy! Did you just... take back your insult?” Ron was in disbelief, dropping the chair he was holding. Madam Rosmerta noticed the commotion and approached them. “Everything alright, dear?”
“It’s okay Madam. Ms. Malfoy here just did something almost as shocking as her victory together with Mr. Potter today. And how do you do, Madam?” Hermione giggled. Dracaena buried her face deeper into Harry’s scarf in embarrassment.
“Extraordinarily well, thank you dear. Especially after everything. Another round of butterbeers I assume? And don’t worry, it’s my treat today.”
Madam Rosmerta disappeared behind the counter, and then suddenly four beer glasses filled to the brim with butterbeer floated toward them. Nothing spilled, of course. Madam Rosmerta always took great care of her customers.
“Free butterbeers?! Do count us in, Madam!” George Weasley appeared out of nowhere, together with Neville, Ginny, Luna, Dean, Seamus, Lee, and several other students Harry recognized as members of Dumbledore’s Army. Strange however, he also noticed Pansy Parkinson, Gregory Goyle, and Daphne Greengrass followed right behind.
Although he was happy to be surrounded by his most trusted friends and allies, Harry can’t help but feel a tad bit disappointed, letting out a small sigh. Oh just my luck, now I can’t have my quiet time with her, Harry thought. He glanced at Dracaena, worried that she might want to escape from this commotion. Yet to his surprise, her icy facade seemed warmer today, her usual cold expression softened by a slight grin. He gave her a questioning look, silently asking whether she wanted to leave and get some air. She shook her head, and inched closer towards him. He draped an arm over her shoulders, and she rested her head against him.
“And here you are, being a couple of lovebirds. I thought you two had gone chasing fleeing Death Eaters or something epic,” Seamus said jeeringly, after everyone finished grabbing empty tables toward Dracaena and the trio, forming a not-so-small gathering in Three Broomsticks. Drinks in hand of course.
“Give us a break, Seamus, today had been one Dark Lord too many,” Harry laughed. “And what’s the story with you, Slytherins? Rare occurrence to see all of you stoop low to our level”
Pansy shrugged. “Oh can it, Potter. We were simply wondering where our precious Dracy had disappeared to, and Lee said out loud he saw the two of you walking towards Hogsmeade. You should’ve seen the expression on Lucius' face he heard that! He was earshot when Lee snitched,” she scoffed, and Lee Jordan responded by scratching the back of his head. “Sorry about that, Malfoy.” Lee said sheepishly.
Daphne laughed. “And we decided to call a truce between rival houses just to wreck your romantic rendezvous.” Dracaena shifted uncomfortably, before deciding that what his father thinks does not matter until it mattered. But hey, she shall see it to be dealt at a later date.
“Well, the entire night was hellish at best. But now, it’s time for a little celebratory toast, don’t you think?” George proposed. Everyone looked at him, unsure what to say since he had lost literally his other half last night. Yet, George smiled. “Come on now. Fred would’ve loved it,” he said, raising his glass. The group looked at each other, and raised their glasses reluctantly.
“To Neville, the hero who rallied Dumbledore’s Army!” George began.
Everyone repeated the toast in unison, now caught the rhythm of the moment. “Your turn, Neville!” He insisted.
“T-To the students of Hogwarts, who answered my call!” Neville declared.
“To the Death Eaters who ate Death like the swine they are!” Seamus continued. The toast shifted the mood a little, and the Slytherins shifted uncomfortably.
“YOU TAKE THAT BACK!” Goyle, who'd been silent and had looked out of place from the start, suddenly stood up and pointed his wand at Seamus. “WE DIDN’T ASK TO BE THIS! AND DON’T YOU DARE DISRESPECT CRABBE’S DEATH!” He howled.
Silence filled the room, shock was seen in everyone’s faces. Even the other wizards present in the inn turned their attention toward the gathering. The air grew heavy as people began reaching for their wands, all combat ready. Even Seamus had already pointed his own towards Goyle. It seemed the tension of the war hadn't truly died down.
Harry gulped, reaching for his wand, when suddenly a heartfelt laughter was heard from none other than Dracaena herself. He was surprised she could laugh like that. It was the same kind of laughter he usually heard from people around Fred and George.
“Dracaena, what’s so funny?” Harry asked.
She wiped away her tears, her stomach aching from laughing too hard. “Don’t you think it’s amusing? They boasted about having a truce to ruin our date yet all that peace lasted for what, ten minutes tops? I worry about our future, Potter, how will we handle our inner Gryffindor and Slytherin when the best they could surmise is a rather instant-ending peace treaty? I worry about our household now.” Dracaena continued laughing, only now noticing that Harry had turned red with embarrassment and was looking away from her. “What’s wrong? Why are all of you looking at me like that?” She asked, confused from the weird expression that was on everybody’s faces.
“Really, Malfoy? Household? You’re already thinking about marrying the bloody hero several hours after his biggest feat?” George smirked, mocking her.
The entire room burst into laughter, even Goyle and Seamus who were ready to throw curses at each other lowered their wands. Only then did Dracaena realize that she had blurted out her innermost feelings on the spur of the moment. Her face turned cherry-red as she buried it in Harry's chest. He could only respond by patting her head, calming her down. This butterbeer is bloody cursed, she tried to convince herself– yet she knew deep down it wasn’t the alcohol; she actually opened her freezing-cold heart– which was a first in her nearly eighteen years of life. Bloody Potter.
After a while of being ridiculed, she finally regained her composure and steadied her breathing. “Stop it, all of you! Haven’t you had enough? My father will–” another burst of laughter erupted across the room. There it is, the classic Malfoy line. Even Seamus and Goyle were laughing along with the others now. Apparently, Dracaena had succeeded in easing the tension, albeit without intention.
“Okay, guys, that’s enough. She’ll die at this rate.” Harry called out to settle everyone down. “And, I think she does have something to say for herself,” Harry added. The laughter died down, and the crowd was anticipating in silence.
Dracaena took a deep breath. “F-first of all, I would like to say I’m sorry.” Luna, Hermione, and Pansy gasped in unison. Goyle’s eyes widened in shock.
“I know it’s weird for me to speak such words and it might sound like I’m under an Imperius Curse. But I would like to ask for forgiveness for everything I've done throughout my school years.” She spoke in her usual cold demeanor, yet her gaze remained fixed to the floor. Harry patted her back.
“I don’t know, Malfoy,” Percy responded, to the Weasleys' surprise. “My memory's a bit fuzzy, since it's been a long time since I was a prefect. What exactly are you apologizing for?” He chuckled, while Dracaena threw a death stare at him. But, she continued.
“Ugh… Everything. The way I acted as if I’m better than everyone, just because of my family background. The way I… bullied Longbottom and other Gryffindors. The slurs I threw at Granger, and the mockery I… directed against the Weasleys. Even to you, Potter.” She gazed towards Harry. “I would like to apologize for everything I did to you, all the mean stares and curses, and how badly I treated you.”
The room was dead silent.
“B-but do remember that you started all of this, Potter! I wouldn't be this bad if you hadn't thrown away my invitation when we first met! G-Gemino effect!” She quickly defended herself, averting her gaze. Yet everyone who looked at her wore warm, if teasing, expressions. She was now as red as the Gryffindor scarf in which she had buried her face in.
“To Malfoy, a Malfoy through and through!” Ron cheered, raising his glass. Everybody followed in unison, except Dracaena of course.
“To Potter, The Boy Who Lived through Dracaena’s harsh and relentless flirtations!” Pansy joined, Goyle and other slytherins now followed.
“And finally to the duo, whose love was overwhelming enough to send Voldemort to his demise.” Luna concluded calmly.
“To Harry and Dracaena!” Everyone cheered, draining their glasses of warm butterbeer.
Harry felt as though everything were a dream. wDracaena noticed his dazed expression and pinched his thigh. “It’s not, Harry, it’s real.” she whispered. The pinch hurt, and he was really glad it did.
“Sorry about earlier, Goyle, shouldn’t have said that. And I’m very sorry for your loss,” Seamus started, offering his hand.
Goyle looked unsure at first, yet he accepted his handshake firmly. “It’s alright, Finnigan. I overreacted. Sorry.”
“Yeah, I think you need more food in you. I hate how grumpy you are when you’re hungry.” Daphne sneered, and everybody laughed. They continue to sing variations of ‘Weasley is our King’ with everyone’s names and their feats in the war.
The atmosphere in the inn was warm and lively, and, to Harry's amusement, Dracaena seemed to be enjoying herself too. For the first time, the whole situation felt real to him. Every hardship he had endured, from losing his parents to finally defeating Voldemort, seemed worth it. He kissed Dracaena’s cheek–which elicited a small gasp from her–and downed more of whatever was left in his glass.
Yes, Dan Bilzerian Smuggling Drugs Up His Ass Groyper, I will read your Malfoid rewrite of Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone
Here it is... My complete rewrite for Harry Potter & The Philosopher's Stone, with Malfoid instead of Draco.
Dropbox:
https://t.co/ivbvFDX9k0
Copyright disclaimer included in the rewrite (all original stuff credited to JK Rowling)
#malfoid #fanfic #HarryPotter
@jk_rowling Acknowledge her
@Lenosallose Homie, this movie is going to be terrible. We knew that when we heard Greta Grewig was in charge of it and that Aslan is being voiced by Meryl Streep
@literate_gamer Respect for backing up your own view. Needs to happen more often.
I see the vision. There’s a reason a ton of romance anime consists of one dude and a bunch of girls
A post about The Wrong Way to Use Healing Magic? In today’s economy?
Bro got isekai and first day he was kidnapped by a hot milf😭
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