Zesty @zestytesla - Twitter Profile

HOW TO BE A SHITTY AND GREEDY MAGA BOOMER A Totally Unofficial Guide Step 1: Complain that nobody wants to work anymore. Immediately after paying the same wage you offered in 1997. Step 2: Tell younger generations they should stop buying coffee. Ignore the fact that a starter home now costs the GDP of a small nation. Step 3: Begin every sentence with: “Back in my day…” End every sentence with: “I don’t know what’s wrong with people today.” Step 4: Demand fiscal responsibility. Then insist your favorite government program is untouchable because it’s different somehow. Step 5: Spend twenty years saying: “Government should stay out of people’s lives.” Then spend the next twenty years explaining exactly how everyone else should live. Step 6: Call yourself a rugged individualist. Receive three government benefits before lunch. Step 7: Blame immigrants. Blame millennials. Blame Gen Z. Blame TikTok. Blame pronouns. Blame windmills. Never blame the billionaires robbing the place blind. Step 8: Turn every conversation into a Facebook comment section. Bonus points for typing: “DO YOUR RESEARCH.” Without citing a single source. Step 9: Insist America is falling apart. Vote for the same people every election. Act shocked when nothing changes. Step 10: Confuse patriotism with blind loyalty. Treat politicians like sports teams. Treat criticism like treason. Treat facts like optional downloadable content. EXPERT MODE A normal citizen asks: “How do we solve this?” A shitty and greedy MAGA boomer asks: “How do I blame someone younger?” LEGENDARY MODE You own three houses. You bought them for the price of a modern Honda Civic. You tell a 28-year-old working two jobs: “You just need to pull yourself up by your bootstraps.” While standing on a mountain of equity you accidentally acquired by existing. The grandchildren mute the family group chat. Facebook crashes under the weight of minion memes. The bald eagle quietly updates its voter registration. 🇺🇸🦅