I hope she’s resting easy knowing that she left behind such a big mark on the world, and that she inspires so many people with her strength and ability to laugh in any situation. Fuck cystic fibrosis man
Haven’t posted in a while but I kinda just wanted to pay tribute to Illy. I haven’t watched her or drumsy’s content in a few years but learning of her death crushed me. I met her a few times in vrchat and she was such a joy to be around.
I’ve made a lot of progress this year so far… I got my car fixed, got my license, gotten my house (mostly) in order, and I feel as if I’ve made leaps and bounds in the mental health department. Everyone was right, I just needed to be alone, and focus on myself.
Considering dropping the alias of Zexonomus/Zex. I feel like with the new era of my life that I'm entering, it feels appropriate. The name feels tainted now. I've had this same name online for 15+ years, it'll be really weird. What do I even change it to, I wonder?
I reached a really big milestone today. I got my license and it has lifted a weight off of my shoulders. I only have one big accomplishment left before my life is in some semblance of order.
I’ve learned that I need to get my priorities in order and that’s been the first step. I hurt people with my actions and inactions and I don’t want that to happen again. I hope to start therapy soon and start building myself into a better person.
I know I’m just screaming into the void here nowadays, which is why I’ve started journaling; just to get my thoughts out. I’ve been doing a massive internet detox, no twitter, no insta, limited TikTok and YT, just a little Minecraft and OW2 each day. It feels freeing to a degree
I have a very long personal growth and improvement path ahead of me, and im sure I’m going to have to do that mostly alone. Maybe that’s what I need, maybe it’s not, but I can’t let life keep me down anymore; I need to get my shit together
And I know i have some people who lurk and just watch what I tweet, and im sorry if things I said were ever hurtful. I never really meant to be hurtful, I just didn’t understand boundaries like I do now.
I don’t have anyone that I interact with anymore, but I’ve said a lot on here that I’m not proud of. Some things I knew weren’t ok at the time and didn’t care, others I didn’t know until later. I’m deleting them because that’s not me anymore. I want to be a better person.