Zach Harsch

Who in here know Ricky Tan?

[Zach Harsch @zharsch]

Just a reminder Juan was committed to Missouri State before CB got the staff to offer him. #Thankful🦃

[Zach Harsch @zharsch]

@trillydonovan But is the stop gap hire good?

[Zach Harsch @zharsch]

@icculus26 Just found your page and wanted to say thank you. This is an awesome list. Appreciate the content!

[Zach Harsch @zharsch]

@ryanhammer09 What is wild is the free throw difference.

[TNT Sports U.S. @TNTSportsUS]

HOW WE FEELIN? 😳 #MarchMadness

[Zach Harsch @zharsch]

@Jaypotta You have put me on so many great artists/songs. Thank you.

[Trilly Donovan @trillydonovan]

Let’s do one more Hoopsmas giveaway.

Want to see your favorite team in person this season? I’ll reimburse you up to $150 in tickets to any game.

All you have to do is RT to enter.

Good luck and Merry Christmas!

[Zach Harsch @zharsch]

@Andrew__Slater Scared money

[Peter Girnus 🦅 @gothburz]

Last quarter I rolled out Microsoft Copilot to 4,000 employees.

$30 per seat per month.

$1.4 million annually.

I called it "digital transformation."

The board loved that phrase.

They approved it in eleven minutes.

No one asked what it would actually do.

Including me.

I told everyone it would "10x productivity."

That's not a real number.

But it sounds like one.

HR asked how we'd measure the 10x.

I said we'd "leverage analytics dashboards."

They stopped asking.

Three months later I checked the usage reports.

47 people had opened it.

12 had used it more than once.

One of them was me.

I used it to summarize an email I could have read in 30 seconds.

It took 45 seconds.

Plus the time it took to fix the hallucinations.

But I called it a "pilot success."

Success means the pilot didn't visibly fail.

The CFO asked about ROI.

I showed him a graph.

The graph went up and to the right.

It measured "AI enablement."

I made that metric up.

He nodded approvingly.

We're "AI-enabled" now.

I don't know what that means.

But it's in our investor deck.

A senior developer asked why we didn't use Claude or ChatGPT.

I said we needed "enterprise-grade security."

He asked what that meant.

I said "compliance."

He asked which compliance.

I said "all of them."

He looked skeptical.

I scheduled him for a "career development conversation."

He stopped asking questions.

Microsoft sent a case study team.

They wanted to feature us as a success story.

I told them we "saved 40,000 hours."

I calculated that number by multiplying employees by a number I made up.

They didn't verify it.

They never do.

Now we're on Microsoft's website.

"Global enterprise achieves 40,000 hours of productivity gains with Copilot."

The CEO shared it on LinkedIn.

He got 3,000 likes.

He's never used Copilot.

None of the executives have.

We have an exemption.

"Strategic focus requires minimal digital distraction."

I wrote that policy.

The licenses renew next month.

I'm requesting an expansion.

5,000 more seats.

We haven't used the first 4,000.

But this time we'll "drive adoption."

Adoption means mandatory training.

Training means a 45-minute webinar no one watches.

But completion will be tracked.

Completion is a metric.

Metrics go in dashboards.

Dashboards go in board presentations.

Board presentations get me promoted.

I'll be SVP by Q3.

I still don't know what Copilot does.

But I know what it's for.

It's for showing we're "investing in AI."

Investment means spending.

Spending means commitment.

Commitment means we're serious about the future.

The future is whatever I say it is.

As long as the graph goes up and to the right.

[Zach Harsch @zharsch]

@johnkonrad

[Zach Harsch @zharsch]

$7m a year @tgoff11

[Price Carter @priceacarter]

“How many good wide receivers do the Chiefs have right now?”

[Zach Harsch @zharsch]

@BarstoolBigCat You should tell this to @clubtrillion

[Zach Harsch @zharsch]

@Sully_2029 You can buy from Jocks Nitch. Some local golf courses had these too.

[Zach Harsch @zharsch]

@guitarm3dic387 @GoodmanHoops No he’s not. Jeff is the definition of a parasite. Except he’s huge.

[Zach Harsch @zharsch]

@GoodmanHoops I bet you look good in Orange!!!!!!

[Zach Harsch @zharsch]

@Mike_Honcho_Man @TheFieldOf68 A cardinal’s fan commenting is wild.

[Zach Harsch @zharsch]

@RodBriggs3 @coachbrettflory That team had three NBA players. This team has 0.

[Zach Harsch @zharsch]

It doesn’t have to be this way.

[Zach Harsch @zharsch]

.@CoachBillSelf

[Kevin Flaherty @KFlahertyKU]

Look, it's tough to win in today's college basketball when you can't spread the floor.

It's IMPOSSIBLE to win when you can't spread the floor AND you aren't aggressive at getting the ball to the rim (and hopefully getting to the FT line in the process).