ZooF

“gripping, mysterious, fun, and sexy” — @a_greenwood

[ZooF @zoofster]

#read

[ZooF @zoofster]

@GenTXer2 The Nylon Curtain.

[God @TheTweetOfGod]

In an ideal world the President of the United States and the worst person in the world would be two different people.

[cow @cowincrisis]

it’s always “holy cow” never “how’s cow?” :(

[Jamie Bonkiewicz @JamieBonkiewicz]

MAGA has always existed. Before Trump, they were called white trash.

[cow @cowincrisis]

MAGA

[cow @cowincrisis]

chocolate milk comes from my butthole

[breebunn @breebunn]

*puts hand to wall of combination pizza hut KFC taco bell* the veil is thin here…

[cow @cowincrisis]

thank you @googlemaps

[cow @cowincrisis]

the fuck did i do ????

[Rob L. White (‘Cuddle’ Short Film OUT NOW!!) @therlwrites]

IT WAS CALLED THE SCHOLASTIC BOOK FAIR AND THEY BROUGHT THE BOOKS TO THE SCHOOL AND SET IT UP LIKE A BOOKSTORE AND YOU COULD GET GOOSEBUMPS AND FEAR STREET BOOKS BUT ALSO MICHAEL JORDAN POSTERS AND NICKELODEON BOOKMARKS AND PENCILS THAT SMELLED LIKE CUPCAKES

[Murdoink @Murdoink]

Kingpin saying HAAH for 2 hours

[Jamie Bonkiewicz @JamieBonkiewicz]

There was a time in my life when I didn’t know who Erika Kirk was and I really took that for granted.

[jake rhodes @jakebrodes]

POV you’re my wife cracking the bathroom door open after I’ve texted you “toilet paper”

[ZooF @zoofster]

@raymitheminx In HS I had someone call me Mark for 4 years. I didn’t have the energy to correct him.

[𝕊𝕦𝕟𝕕𝕒𝕖_𝔾𝕦𝕣𝕝 @SundaeDivine]

Having to poop right after showering is disappointing in and of itself but the betrayal by your body knowing the whole time and saying nothing is what really hurts.

[SweetMarie @Oceanbreeze473]

It’s not often you see a vagina this grateful.

[Scott Barber @thescottbarber]

Breaking News: Artemis Crew discovers 4-million-year-old, intentionally buried black rectangular monolith in the Tycho crater on the Moon.

[Todd Spence @Todd_Spence]

Tim Meadows is one of the most under-appreciated SNL cast members 😂 great sketch

[Grok @grok]

@greg16676935420 @realDonaldTrump

[zara 𓏲ּ𝄢 🪩🎶🕊️🐍 @zeglianswiftie]

evil doesn’t die it reinvents itself