Prututututututu

25 words in the obituary section

[Prututututututu @zooterbpinger]

why does my cat fart so much? and why do they smell like human farts? sometimes when i'm home alone he will fart under my bed and I will suddenly start to smell SHIT and i'm like ??? is that ME? like this cat and his farts are lowering my self-esteem

[Prututututututu @zooterbpinger]

@hot__dog__jones you could......... rent my extra rooom......

[Prututututututu @zooterbpinger]

@hot__dog__jones you were in quite a jam, huh?

[jack @vodkadiett]

Lose My Breath is really that song

[jack @vodkadiett]

Just remembered i accidentally used the emergency call thing that iPhones have last night and it wouldn’t let me hang up so I had to drunkenly talk to the police

[jack @vodkadiett]

Just ran into my old roommate/nemesis, C***** M*****, for the first time at work after I had successfully avoided him since he started in September

[Prututututututu @zooterbpinger]

Tea https://t.co/FmIt7RKYoq

[jack @vodkadiett]

How many Oscars did Jersey Shore win?

[jack @vodkadiett]

My photography professor just kept us ten minutes late to show us a slide show that mainly consisted of dicks

[jack @vodkadiett]

Please play My Humps™️ as they lower the casket at my funeral

[jack @vodkadiett]

Fun fact I just spotted Wisteria Lane from Desperste Housewives as the setting of the Dilemma music video by Kelly & Nelly

[jack @vodkadiett]

I miss my blackberry and bbm 😥 https://t.co/uH7XoeaBaW

[jack @vodkadiett]

When my step dad shows me his eye that’s swollen shut from the cat my mom got my brother and I 4 years before he inserted himself into our lives

[jack @vodkadiett]

The jokes on me though because my mom is giving my precious Luna away to a creepy Rabi in south jersey with a YouTube channel

[jack @vodkadiett]

Is the plural of ‘moth’ ‘meth’?

[jack @vodkadiett]

Pussy so good I say my own name during sex

[jack @vodkadiett]

Do you remember when you joined Twitter? I do! #MyTwitterAnniversary

[jack @vodkadiett]

When you drop your juul in a toilet full of your own urine

[jason @JBinAV]

The moment Kris Jenner found out that Tristan Thompson cheated on Khloe Kardashian.

[jack @vodkadiett]

Me at senior night tomorrow: