zoë

she/her 🍄🌱🌷 johnny knoxville

[zoë @zozeeeb]

meatball will never know about the Tenerife Airport Disaster that occurred March 27, 1977.

[Katya @katya_zamo]

No, no! It’s fine! It’s perfectly fine that no one told me about the screening of Mulholland Drive at the Hollywood Forever cemetery tonight! It’s totally fine! Doesn’t really sound like something I would enjoy, I mean it’s not like the weather right now is perfect to watch a movie, certainly not my favorite movie. And definitely not in a place I have dreamed about meeting my future husband. I mean, I suppose all my “friends” must have assumed I would know about this already and will be there. Perfectly reasonable assumption to make. It’s completely understandable! No, no, it’s fine! I’m not bitter at all I swear! I’m 44 years old for Christ’s sake. I’m not going to sit and sulk here like a child. But I will block everyone in my contact list

[tay @hairball1952]

how i need this summer to feel

[Trixie Mattel™ @trixiemattel]

we would considering Nathan fielder to be babygirl right

[Shawn Hatosy @ShawnHatosy]

unc peepaw people’s princess oomf average everyday icon returns. stay mad. stay mystified

[eva @_glorianas]

yall mind if a white boy speak a little dothraki

[Chris Meloni @Chris_Meloni]

BLOCKED

[lu @ultraredglow]

i hope life feels like this in 2026

[Meg @megannn_lynne]

PLEASE stop asking me about Christmas plans. I have Big City job! I wear stilettos! I have a proposal due on December 25th! The only breaks I’ll be taking are for coffee. Maybe at the new St. Nick’s Sweets & Sips that just opened…I hope it isn’t run by a hunk who loves Christmas

[Trixie Mattel™ @trixiemattel]

That stage of grief where you start dressing like Katya!

[Hoppy @Hoppydoesntread]

Greatest work of social democrat theory ever produced.

[RuPaul @RuPaul]

Hard to remain patient with friends who focus solely on their own crucifixion. Get off The Cross, ladykins... we could use the wood!

[Peter TOTO💜 @petermarietoto]

what if the miss piggy movie is a shot for shot remake of TÁR

[ege @egeofanatolia]

Stop becoming influencers we need gaffers!!!!

[The Girl with the Garfield Tattoo @shelbyboring]

Day ONE in Zohran’s America!!!!

[Chris Oldman © @AlsikkanTV]

Woah mamma they put me in tha pickle jar

[Drebae @Drebae_]

Believe it or not, I actually WANT my taxes to fund SNAP & Medicaid, not golf trips for millionaires & military tanks for war

[Stavros Halkias @stavvybaby]

I’m only supporting candidates that billionaires are desperately trying to stop.

Here’s to more grassroots campaigns across the country, powered by working class people and not ultra rich donors. Don’t fall for culture war bullshit, we can have a better world!

VOTE ZOHRAN!!

[Lowkey @Lowkey0nline]

Ceasefire?

[uncle Monstrous Carb @lowerformofwit]

24 years, wow I didn't realise October 7 was *that* long ago!

[Katherine Argent @effthealgorithm]

This tweet has gone viral and we all know why. No matter what Google claims, people don’t like AI Overviews. No matter what Meta claims, no one wants to watch an endless scroll of AI slop video. And no matter what X claims, only maladjusted creeps like its founder think anime girlfriends are cool.