☀️

[Barack Obama @BarackObama]

Congrats to the U.S. Women's Gymnastics team for winning gold and to the GOAT @Simone_Biles for becoming the most decorated American gymnast in history!

[Sal Vulcano @SalVulcano]

Eleven years ago, @joe_gatto and I got thrown in front of 14,000 people as one of the opening acts at a sold @imaginedragons show at Jones Beach Theater in Long Island. We don’t play instruments or sing.

There were already *two* proper opening acts before us. They did NOT want a third.

We were introduced as “Senora Lanza” (a nod to our high school Spanish teacher) and told to refer to them only as the ImaginATION Dragons, then read an introduction that dedicated the show to the people of Pittsburgh, a much more worthy audience than the folks of Long Island. Then told to “start playing songs”.

THEY KEPT US OUT THERE FOR 20 MINUTES as the crowd got more and more upset. At one point Joe was told to do a drum solo while I had to do the worm across the stage. Joe just started slamming on the drums yelling “DRUM SOLOOOOOO!!” while I flopped around on the floor.

Around this time an angry man charged at us from side stage and tried to grab my guitar from my hands. He began cursing and screaming at me. “Give me the guitar! Get off the stage!” I didn’t know who he was or what he was doing. So I pushed back and kept scrambling to avoid him, yanking back my guitar and dodging around, all while continuing to “play” and “sing”.

I was then told to stage dive into the crowd. I didn’t want to injure anyone so I proceeded to meekly jump off the stage feet first and we were ushered out as people screamed in our faces as we dodged full cups of soda being thrown.

I got backstage only to learn that the man trying to take my guitar was the stage manager. Bc I didn’t let him remove me, the concert went past its curfew and into overtime union pay. This is to be avoided at all costs bc the fees then become astronomical. I can’t begin to imagine the extra costs.

I believe the last thing I yelled on the mic was “F the Imagination Dragons”. They were amazing sports about it and just great people for letting us do all of this in the first place. 🙏

[Sal Vulcano @SalVulcano]

Love a big analog clock on the side of a building.

[socialist sopranos memes @gabagoolmarx]

This is how Tony and Carmela would've ended up if Tony’s parents hadn't psychologically traumatized him. https://t.co/OITXzrKjmU

[dj franzia @hawillisdc]

i miss when AI stood for allen iverson

[for your health 🖤 @foryourhealthoh]

trump just got pierced in the gay ear

[Eileen Michelle @eileenmicheIIe]

I think Brooke Schofield should be allowed to beat Clinton Kane with a bat

[justin butlag @nothinbutlag]

WILL SMITH SLAPPED CHRIS ROCK??????

[The Notorious J.O.V. @whotfisjovana]

girl essentials

[Adam @adamgreattweet]

rip shel silverstein you would have loved this

[sarah @ritagayworths]

this is still the funniest post anyone’s ever made

[☀️ @zozeeeeeeeeeee1]

@SpotifyCares i got an email saying my email associated with my account was changed and now i cant log in to my account. I’m so confused please help

[DailyRapFacts @DailyRapFacts]

Rick Ross says he's keeping Drake away from his car show because kids will be there 👀😂

“We keeping Drake away from the car show cause the kids are welcomed” - Rick Ross

[Sam Stryker @sbstryker]

Hot Girl Summer is now

[☀️ @zozeeeeeeeeeee1]

@riflesandlures1 I’m a teacher and my kids are uniformed so I don’t deal with this kind of stuff often. But I would have zero issue with this.

[Fascinating @fasc1nate]

Buzz Aldrin punches a conspiracy theorist after being accused of faking the moon landing in 2002.

[Sophie Ross Brooks @sophrossbrooks]

“So baby pull me closer in the backseat of your Rover”