Make it happen. Shock everyone. Shock yourself. This mission is personal. It takes a lot to start over again, but you owe it to yourself to become everything you've ever dreamed of. Be brave. Trust the magic of new beginnings. Things will find their shape.
How many sujoods have you asked Allah for it? How many times have you awoken in the last 1/3 of the night to request it? How many times have you remembered to supplicate between asr & maghrib on fridays? Between the athaan and the iqaama seeking it? How badly do you really want?