Zach Johnson

[Zach Johnson @zvchtyler]

Hey @joederosacomedy congratulations on the cover of @TIME

[Zach Johnson @zvchtyler]

@KamalaHarris @JoeBiden Yall suck ass

[Zach Johnson @zvchtyler]

@TeeAndTheBag Or maybe some Rob Thomas

[Tee and The Bag @TeeAndTheBag]

The bag getting smacked! Paying debts

[Zach Johnson @zvchtyler]

Tonight, While walking out of a target restroom, a man stopped me to tell me I reminded him of the “little white boy from Home Alone”. Pre junky though

[Zach Johnson @zvchtyler]

My entire life

[Zach Johnson @zvchtyler]

When you buy a butterbeer and realize there isn't booze in it😒

[Zach Johnson @zvchtyler]

When the gf is listening to music while getting ready, I like to intercept her Bluetooth speaker and blast Strength Beyond Strength by @pantera. she does not seem to enjoy it quite as much as I do. #wehavefun #

[Zach Johnson @zvchtyler]

Dropped half of my @ClifBar in the gutter. My day is officially ruined

[Zach Johnson @zvchtyler]

Every gym needs a "No shadow boxing" sign

[Zach Johnson @zvchtyler]

@FreddyAmazin @FunnySayings @micaelaparker you

[Zach Johnson @zvchtyler]

@EcnerwalhsoJ @GabyBlumenfeld Actually $90 lol

[Zach Johnson @zvchtyler]

*As I'm eating a rice crispy treat from Starbucks* Micaela looks at me and says, "I used to get those when I was fat too"😒💀

[Zach Johnson @zvchtyler]

@EcnerwalhsoJ They gave my Plummer but told be after 6 months I'll get bumped up to Sepulveda

[Zach Johnson @zvchtyler]

@GabyBlumenfeld Thanks gabz!

[Zach Johnson @zvchtyler]

I'm at The Village

[Zach Johnson @zvchtyler]

I'm on a gluten only diet

[Zach Johnson @zvchtyler]

When you're about to lay the smack down on your girls candy ass