mission to zyxx bot

@MissionToZyxx quotes every two hours. seasons 1 + 2 coded, 3 in progress

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sorry guys i gave the bot to a zima knight and they just completely stopped running it. i did have to go on a perilous mission across the quadrant to regain control but we're back welcome back

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ALARM: NOT A VIRGIN! YOU HAD S-S-S-SEX!
BLIMPIE: Yeah, that’s my not-a-virgin alarm going off. Something I came up with myself, so, I’m innovating.
BARGIE: I’m proud of you.
BLIMPIE: Okay. Thanks, mom.

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C-53: Papa Decksetter-
PLECK: No, C-
C-53: - I have an incoming transmission from Master Missions Operations Manager Nermut Bundaloy.
PLECK: Hold on, before we pick that up, C-53, please don’t call me that.

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NERMUT: Thank you for coming at roughly the time we agreed on. My dad's lawyer is still trying to rappel down, so it'll just be a second. So where did you go to law school?
LAWYER: (screeching)
NERMUT: I've never heard of that. Is that competitive to get in?
LAWYER: (screeching)

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DAR: I mean, no, we all love each other. Pleck, do you know what ‘in love’ means? Maybe we should--
PLECK: No, Bargie, I love you and am attracted to you sexually.
C-53: Oh, /gross/.
NERMUT: I don’t think Pleck knows what any of those words mean. I wouldn’t worry about it.

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OLD DERF: (shrieking) You haven’t even changed your shorts!
PLECK: (laughing) I didn’t know there was a timeline!
OLD DERF: Oh! When I left the airlock, I wasn’t like, “hey, take your time, bro! I’m dying!”

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PLECK: Is he saying something?
DAR: He’s saying... Dar.
NERMUT: Dar...
DAR: Nermut, finish that sentence?
CLINT: Shoot him up again with the sedative.
DAR: No!
NERMUT: AughHHh!
C-53: Seems like a lot for such a small creature.
DAR: I really thought I was gonna learn something.

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KIARONDO: What is your name, young noob?
AJ: My name is AJ-2884.
KIARONDO: Ah yes, AJ-2868. There is much written of you, young one. Starting with…
AJ: Oh, no, no. It's AJ-2884.
KIARONDO: No, I don't think we've got anything.
AJ: (suppressing tears) THAT’S PROBABLY A TYPO!

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CHILD: And JUCK the federal alliance!
(C-53 wallops the kid)
PLECK: Ugh, C-53!
SQUIRLT: Excuse me!

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AJ: Wait I just connected that you guys have the same name.
PLECK: AJ!
AJ: I just put that together. You guys have the same name!
PLECK: AJ, it's very important to your Zima training that you take your log by its leash and go do something with it.

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NERMUT: It's a stealth mission!
PLECK: Oooh!
DAR: Ohh, so a tellurian, droid, and Dar walk into a casino...
C-53: Or... do they?

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BARGIE: (choking up) Tiny meant a lot to me. Who am I gonna be angry at, and put all my anger at the world towards one ship, if that ship is not there? I-- (sounds of weapon fire) Am I firing a lot of guns right now to show my emotions? Yes.

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CLINT.: Would you uh... allow us to speak privately for a moment?
DODECAHELEN: Yeah. That’s a usual request.
PLECK: We’ll be right back. What can I do for you?
CLINT: We need to destroy this thing.
PLECK: Nah, I just, nah I don’t think so.
C-53: Seems unnecessary...

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SPURCH: You're the chosen one, right?
PLECK: Yes, you've heard of me!
SPURCH: Oh, man, yeah, yeah, yeah.
C-53: Big Turtle, you've really heard of him?
SPURCH: (laughing) I can't do it anymore, I can't. I do it to all the newbies. No, no, no, we're all the chosen one here, man.

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BARGIE: Honestly. I kind of like it. I've never been so wanted in my life.
PLECK: Huh?
BARGIE: Everybody wants me.
C-53: Bargie, I think you're confusing good attention with bad atention.
BARGIE: There's like signs up, in various stores! Wanted: Bargie! Wanted…

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NERMUT: (said in one breath) The Planet Crusher Crusher crushed all six Planet Crushers, and now the Planet Crusher Crusher’s tractor beam is pulling us inside the Planet Crusher Crusher!

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C-53: Correct, I was in an intelligent destroyer unit in the Armedian navy.
PLECK: So you were swimming when you were a boat?
C-53: Yes.
PLECK: Ah.
C-53: Does that count as swimming?
DAR: For you, buddy, we'll count it.
PLECK: I mean, you seem very excited about it so I think...

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NERMUT: You’re hanging out with him?
PLECK: He defected and sort of demanded to be my protege.
C-53: I would say sort of tagging along.

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BARGIE: (not terribly enthusiastic) Anyway, so, single and ready to mingle! (unenthused noises) I’ll make up a new Shipdr profile.
PLECK: Sure. Okay. Yeah, well, best of luck out there, you know?
BARGIE: Whatever.

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718TONY: So-- You know, I forgot my secret because of this damn idiot over here.
PLECK: Never assume somebody was in a war, was the secret.
DAR: Now you’re gonna correct him on his secret?
718TONY: You’re correcting me on my secret?!
PLECK: I’m gonna go. I gotta go.

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BARGIE: Don't worry about it, Horn-Doc, I've killed too many people in my time.
PLECK: (pages turning) You've killed people, but you've brought me to life right here.
C-53: Bargie, what kind of holo is this?
PLECK: I don't know if I like this, Bargie.
C-53: This is pretty horny.