mitch

member of the clean plate club

[Christopher Probert @tophe_probert]

Hi, sorry to call at such short notice but our sketch artist has fallen ill, was wondering if you could step in, it says on your profile that you do sketch work...

Well I normally only draw Giraffes but I guess how hard can it be, sure I'll do it.

[Emma Baccellieri @emmabaccellieri]

What a lede ☠️ https://t.co/6PTONR2m5Q

[Sean Mitchell @smitchell17]

That's the same chest he uses to catch passes

Not good.

[Price Carter @priceacarter]

My wife’s friends: “are you really cracking open a beer at 11:30 am at your kids birthday party?”

Me:

[ArtButMakeItSports @ArtButSports]

Man in a Blue Mantle, by John Singer Sargent, 1891, 📸 via @cjzero

[NFL Memes @NFLMemes]

Cam Skattebo when he realizes J.J. McCarthy and NINE are the same person (it’s Week 15)

[Washington Commanders @Commanders]

W

[one dozen bats at a keyboard @PanasonicDX4500]

explaining to cam skattebo that he won’t be able to play with jaxson anymore using the same hand signals they used to tell koko the gorilla her cat died

[Rotoworld Football @rotoworld_fb]

Colston Loveland heats up for 1/3 vs. Vikings https://t.co/Fdwyrx66yc

[o-n🌛🍓 @thefloorsonfire]

scooby doo after he finishes praying:

[Roddert White @KingCheddar69]

Someone put that lettuce poop virus in the 7 hazy ipas I drank last night

[𝚔𝚎𝚗𝚍𝚛𝚒𝚌𝚔 𝚕𝚘𝚋𝚜𝚝𝚊𝚛 @KLobstar]

a red dot shines on my chest as a single gunshot echoes, but I look down and I am unscathed

on the rooftop above me the Duolingo owl holsters his pistol, the sniper dead

my phone chimes- “Tu esposa contrató a un sicario.” I don’t understand because I haven’t been studying

[will defries @willdefries]

no one:

my two-and-a-half-year-old with play-doh in front of him:

[Electrical Substation @SCSubstation]

Nom nom nom

[Thomas White @len0killer]

My uncle performed the first Minion autopsy out near Marietta. Year was ‘89. Thick, thick skin, like a boar’s. Downstairs was all cloaca. Kevin still visits the grave

[Scott Kacsmar @ScottKacsmar]

The NFL has a Big 3:

Mahomes, Allen, Lamar

Burrow is closer to Herbert than with that group.