Simple method of estimating whether a man has actually lived through anything, sit with him in silence for longer than two minutes. the ones who have been through something settle into it like an old animal that knows the terrain by scent. the untested fidget and squirm and reach for something to fill the dead air, squalid little addicts of distraction whose entire inner life amounts to a scrolling feed of borrowed opinions. they have never once sat with the stench of their own unoccupied mind long enough to discover what's decomposing underneath
If you are angry and you do not know why, do not try to reason with it. rage that cannot name itself is holy. it is older than you. it belonged to your father, and your fathers father, and someone before them who never got to speak. stand up, walk outside, pick up a rock that is too heavy and carry it somewhere else for no reason. dig a hole, hack at a tree that already fell, chop wood you will not burn. do something stupid with your body until the thing inside you has been fed through the muscle. modern therapy wants to make the rage into words, but rage is older than language. it must be spent through the hands, the legs, the back. men who do not bleed through work will bleed through their wives, through their children, through the bottle, through the random stranger at the bar who said the wrong word. you must give it somewhere to go or it will choose for you. do this once a week, your house will become quieter within a month
The only advice i would give a son is the world hates you until you become useful. then it pretends it never hated you, and you must remember that it did, or you will start believing the love is real. and that is how they tame you
Gender discourse is the worst, but this is just sad. A 13 to 14 yo guy like this thinks his girl just gave him a “quest” to prove himself. Like telling a puppy to fetch, then abandoning the puppy after they bring stick back.
Where are all the good men? You trained them out of it.
Stop explaining yourself. Let them misunderstand. Read by candlelight. Memorize prayers you don't believe yet. Fast until you see clearly. Delete your autobiography. Burn your manifestos. The story you tell about yourself is a cage. Visit graves of people you never met. Learn their names anyway. Sit in empty churches. Silence is older than doctrine. Stop waiting for permission. The elders are dead. You are the elder now. Teach yourself ancient languages. Not for resume. For resurrection. Walk at midnight. Notice what moves in darkness. Befriend it. Your fear is obsolete genetics. Murder it. Stop journaling feelings. Journal prophecies. Then make them true. Find teachers who scare you. If they comfort you they're lying. Comfort is the enemy. Read the texts they banned. Ask why they were banned. The answer is always the same. Learn to fight. Doesn't matter which discipline. A man who cannot defend cannot build. Stop consuming content. Create doctrine. Your doctrine. Forge weapons from your wounds. Every scar is a lesson you paid for in blood. Collect them. The crowd will call you crazy. That's how you know it's working. Find the others. They're looking for you too. Start the monastery. Physical or digital doesn't matter. Build the fortress. Man the walls. Something is coming and the soft will not survive it.
Loyalty buys you armies for the price of keeping your word. Every king who forgot this died confused. Competence you can hire. Genius you can rent. But the man who bleeds for you because you bled for him first, that cannot be bought at any price, and the fool who betrays loyalty for short-term gain just sold immortality for copper coins
The thing nobody wants to admit is you can't create anything whole by yourself, not children, not art, not meaning, not even your own soul. wholeness requires the thing you don't have, the thing that scares you, the darkness if you're light, the chaos if you're order, the other person who sees the world backwards from you, and this is why marriage is so hard and so necessary, because trying to become complete alone is like trying to make a baby by yourself, it's biologically impossible. The self cannot actualize the self, it needs friction, needs the mirror, needs someone to show you the parts of reality you're blind to, and yeah it's painful and yeah you'll want to quit but the attempt itself is the only holy thing we have