Alisa Wartick

Wife, mother, teacher, writer, procrastinator, pursuer of the trivial, lover of all things vintage, traveler of the world. I swim, I bike, I do not run.

[Alisa Wartick @1Lisa]

@mariskreizman I’m cat food Ozymandias.

[Alisa Wartick @1Lisa]

@SethAbramson Josh Hawley’s now cancelled book was called The Tyranny if Big Tech. What a convenient tie-in for his new best friend in the senate.

[Jed Shugerman @jedshug]

If @SpeakerPelosi won't let the House vote on articles of impeachment today, the electoral recount/do-over we really need is the House Speakership vote.

[Alisa Wartick @1Lisa]

@adamschreck @AP Has to be kind of a jarring way to wake up.

[Timothy Simons @timothycsimons]

Mike Pence doesn't get or deserve any fucking credit for whatever bullshit speech he made. 25th or shut the fuck up.

[March For Our Lives @AMarch4OurLives]

We hope that members of Congress who are sheltering in place remain safe, we know how scary this can be. We’ve been practicing shelter-in-place since we were four years old. It changes you.

[A.R. Moxon 🦋 @JuliusGoat]

There needs to be a reckoning, and it needs to be consequential.

No unity. No moving forward. No coming together.

A god damned reckoning, for once in our nation's history.

Investigations, charges, trials, sentences, terms served.

[Be A King @BerniceKing]

“If you, as a White person, would be happy to receive the same treatment that our Black citizens do in this society, please stand.”

[Alisa Wartick @1Lisa]

Me all day: I am so tired I can’t wait to go to bed.
My brain in bed: Everyone you know is going to die someday. Who do you think is going to be first?

[Alisa Wartick @1Lisa]

Hey, @Xfinity how exactly does a DVR mistake @NewsHour for @nbcthegoodplace anyway? I mean, I enjoy the enumeration of the president’s crimes as much as the next gal, but this feels a little on the nose.

[Alisa Wartick @1Lisa]

As a (formerly?) fat girl who also has trouble accepting both herself and friendship, I would advise anyone in the same situation to watch Brittany Runs a Marathon and be prepared to ugly cry while wearing the oversized sweatshirt you’ve saved “just in case”.

[Alisa Wartick @1Lisa]

@WBEZreset CPS parent. I have been really impressed with how neighbors, businesses, private schools, and employers have all gone out of their way to help out because they all know that more resources in all schools mean a better education for all kids.

[Alisa Wartick @1Lisa]

How old am I? I am hide chocolate somewhere in the house but forget where years old.

[SparkNotes @SparkNotes]

Romeo during the duel between Tybalt and Mercutio

[Alisa Wartick @1Lisa]

Random dude: I don’t know how anyone can live in Chicago. It’s so dangerous.

Same dude: If South Americans don’t want their kids locked in cages, they should stay where they are and fight MS-13 themselves.

[LouiseK @susanbangry]

I think we should universally replace the term "third wheel" with "be an Ivanka" .... ex: "I wanted to go to the concert with Zoey and her boyfriend, but I didn't want to be an Ivanka"... #unwantedivanka

[Alisa Wartick @1Lisa]

@DanielKIsaac @lewis_damian @Lulubellestiles @tobesmoore @KellyAuCoin77 @DanSoder @dolabunny @AsiaKateDillon @SHO_Billions #TeamBenKim and #TeamMafee always. It makes me so sad to see them fight. Get back together, Mom & Dad!

[Alisa Wartick @1Lisa]

@fuggirls @morganfahey To be fair, Sansa has been dressing like Lady Darth for two seasons.

[Alisa Wartick @1Lisa]

Jon Snow after being banished to the wall: #GameOfThrones #TheFinalEpisode