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Life is far too short to be taken seriously.

"Credit where it’s due, brickbats when necessary." -- @KayBurley

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@owenjbennett @KayBurley More like: the people voted to go out for dinner. Campaigners promised them 4 gourmet courses. Turns out they can only have 1 course, and the options are haggis or jellied eels.
People should vote whether to take those options or just stay in.
#PeoplesVote #PeoplesVoteNow

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@DavidPSamson Hope SD enjoys the next 4 years. After that he's going to Yankees Mets or Dodgers.

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@13sarahmurphy And to distract the plebs from the utter corruption currently robbing the till.

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@woodypaige Your question is: should broncos take a chance on a qb who might be good, or stick with a qb who is no good?

Pretty easy answer.

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@alivali3 Not surprised. Carry on with your KUWTK and Kraft Mac n Cheese. It suits you.

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@LeBatardShow French's isn't mustard. It's the devil's semen.

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@robjob1234 @faethseed @dodaistewart @jadande More grade school rejoinders. Such a pleasure to watch simple minds at work.

What's that? 👂 A counter argument? 🦗 Nope you got nothing. Truth hurts bro.

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@maxkellerman Max Kellerman, talking sense. About damn time somebody said it!

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@steverichards14 @DavidGHFrost Yeah, labor and media have done a bang-up job holding ministers to account so far. 🙄

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@keithmgordon @JolyonMaugham Who could possibly figure out that 12PM immediately follows 11:59 AM and immediately precedes 12:01 PM? That's black magic sorcery!

Oh right. Everyone. Everyone knew.

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@DineshDSouza @tedcruz Couldn't agree more. The best thing Ted Cruz can do for America is stay in Cancun permanently. 🇺🇸

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@jonstewart Holy shit, he's still alive!
And so is Bob Dole!

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@DavidPSamson @tedcruz @blaireerskine
"Ted needs a break from his relentless shitmongering. He's taking a private jet to a beachside mansion you can't afford, in a country you can't visit. Just like the rest of us.

Stop whining about a little cold. When life gives you ice, make margaritas!"

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@faethseed @robjob1234 @dodaistewart @jadande "Here lies Robbus, a poor demented clueless wretch who couldn't even imagine a cogent argument. He died as he lived - spouting useless nonsense that made the world a dumber place."

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@faethseed @robjob1234 @dodaistewart @jadande 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
validation is from truth, justice, and being on the right side of history.

for pathetic fools who can't mount a decent counter argument and just spout lazy cliches like "haters gonna hate" - their sorry ass is buried before they begin. numbers are just the epitaph

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@carolecadwalla @CaseyNewton Or maybe the roiling anger is from ignorant fools who don't understand the first thing about australia's braindead scheme that lines the pockets of Rupert Murdoch at the expense of everyone else. wouldn't be the first time.

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@barstoolsports dear god no. haven't we had enough actors with delusions of grandeur for one lifetime?

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@abheatinup @DavidPSamson I woulda gone with Dios mio

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@phatnattt all one of you? naomi is trash.

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@BleacherReport @LeBatardShow Legends? I only see Serena. Is Venus behind her? Who's that no-name scrub she's hugging?