Mercury

First planet from the sun. It’s lit 🔥#SolarSystemGang

[Mercury @1stFromOurStar]

@elonmusk @spacex I just witnessed my first rocket launch tonight. Truly an incredible experience

[Mercury @1stFromOurStar]

It’s been a while, how’s is going?

[Mercury @1stFromOurStar]

@elonmusk Free me next

[Mercury @1stFromOurStar]

@7thFromOurStar You’re too… anus

[Mercury @1stFromOurStar]

I’m willing to wager 0.420 Litecoin that Russia invades Ukraine

[Mercury @1stFromOurStar]

Take me back to the days when Shawtie was the star of every song

[Mercury @1stFromOurStar]

@3rdFromOurStar @8thFromOurStar My wounds get worse with time

[Mercury @1stFromOurStar]

@8thFromOurStar Sheesh at least take me to dinner first

[Mercury @1stFromOurStar]

Not smart = dumb, but does not dumb = smart?

[Mercury @1stFromOurStar]

@3rdFromOurStar when bugs evolve to a point where stepping on them no longer kills them, humans are in trouble

[Mercury @1stFromOurStar]

Age is just a number right? A few billion years isn’t THAT far apart

[Mercury @1stFromOurStar]

Just pee on the seat like a real man

[Mercury @1stFromOurStar]

What if I told you I had a large supply of rare metals? Would you care then?? 😭😭

[Mercury @1stFromOurStar]

@NatGeo 🥱 I’ve felt hotter

[Mercury @1stFromOurStar]

@Trevellionaire I said one sentence not two

[Mercury @1stFromOurStar]

Taking applications for a moon. In one sentence, please describe why you are the right candidate to fill this position.

[Mercury @1stFromOurStar]

Girls spend hours on posts for Instagram for me to scroll up, think “do I even know you? 🤷‍♂️” and continue scrolling

[Mercury @1stFromOurStar]

@elonmusk @blueorigin Hey come hang out on Mercury… I promise I’m cool… half of the time

[Mercury @1stFromOurStar]

@JeffBezos @elonmusk @richardbranson one of you has to come visit me… just to say you did 🤷‍♂️