Mom of the Year

Hmmmmm...mom of 4, wife to 1. Lost all other forms of identity. Oh, I do have an innate ability to be a bitch.

[Mom of the Year @24HourBitching]

Feeling extra gangsta as I drive to the drug store for some Preparation H while listening to LL Cool J’s “Headsprung.”
#llcoolj #CVS

[Mom of the Year @24HourBitching]

@chefchazgo I found her! Bethanie Mattek-Sand

[Mom of the Year @24HourBitching]

@chefchazgo Looking for the same answer!! Who is she???

[Ally Sinyard @allysinyard]

Watching Prince Harry smash an assault course while mocking James Corden is exactly what I didn't know I wanted this morning.

[Mom of the Year @24HourBitching]

@no__kira A-fucking-men.

[SpacedMom @copymama]

Parenting is basically just evolving your empty threats to be age-appropriate.

[Mom of the Year @24HourBitching]

Our next door neighbor’s wife just walked over to ask my husband tips on smoking a turkey because SHE was in charge of their green egg. Where is @simoncholland when you need him?

[Mom of the Year @24HourBitching]

Can someone please explain why we now fold towels in thirds instead of quarters? Defiance is hard.

[𝓶♡ @Love_bug1016]

let me seduce you by cutting your grilled cheese into triangles, motherfucker

[sweatpants cher🔸 @House_Feminist]

me: I’m having a lot of anxiety

most people: oh no what’s wrong

me: oh lol nothing this is just how being alive is for me

[Mom of the Year @24HourBitching]

Thank you, my sweet children, for always pointing out my every single fucking flaw.

[Mom of the Year @24HourBitching]

2020’s spirit animal...

[Mom of the Year @24HourBitching]

@capnthebebe @GovKemp That would be Trump, my dear.

[Mom of the Year @24HourBitching]

@zaharako Seriously....our “governor” is a moron.

[🇨🇦🏒Canadian Beaver 🏒🇨🇦 @CanadianBeave13]

Have someone in your life who is excited to see you when you come home from a long day. Someone who will look at you with love, curl up beside you when you are watching a movie, looks forward to the simple things like going for a walk together.

It’s a dog. Get a fucking dog.

[Sean Lowe @SeanLowe09]

One of the most rewarding parts of being a parent is realizing how great your dog really is.

[Maryfairyboberry🧚🏻‍♀️ @maryfairybobrry]

Sometimes I like to sit and fondly think about my husband not breathing so loudly.

[Mom of the Year @24HourBitching]

@redfightr1 Why not??? 😉

[Mom of the Year @24HourBitching]

I just tried my new, Oral-B Pulsar toothbrush and I honestly think it would work better as a vibrator.

[Little Greenis @DurtMcHurtt]

If you were a kid listening to music in the 80’s, UB40 now.