U won't

It me

[🦡 Badger Tamer @badg_er]

who cares how much @apple charges for a #monitorstand. u don't have to buy it.

[Brady Adger @BradyAdger12]

My parents live next to some bad little kids. I just overheard one say to another, "ok ok so pretend your dad is dead". Ok thats enough pretend

[Thoughts of Dog @dog_feelings]

i had a long talk. with my fren. about how to spot. a fake ball throw. the optimal strategy. is to follow the ball. with your eyes. instead of your heart

[Thoughts of Dog @dog_feelings]

on my calendar for today. it says. peanut butter. with no further instructions. i accept this challenge

[U won't @2h54yams]

@LeoLeventhal Retweet

[bobby kerr @bobbykerr21]

The “Skip Intro” Button. What a concept.

[🦡 Badger Tamer @badg_er]

[God making oysters]
God: Armored vulva.
Tech: Like a clam?
God: Less sexy.
Tech: You've been weird since your last breakup..
God: . . .

[caleb @short_man_syn]

@2h54yams
meanwhile @Twitr_Twatr @YNPSquatch @YNPBigDickDog out there giving out hot tamales

[U won't @2h54yams]

@jordoh45 @CalebMeMaybe Okay but why is Arizona double bubble lmao

[U won't @2h54yams]

I have an idea: GLOBAL WORMING. Imagine that shit

[bobby kerr @bobbykerr21]

*applying for a pizza delivery job*

Previous Employer:
United States National Park Service

*closes laptop*

[U won't @2h54yams]

I guess I spelled it wrong

[U won't @2h54yams]

😬

[U won't @2h54yams]

People tell me I look like a business woman with all the time messy hair. Such is the life of a #ticklr rep

[U won't @2h54yams]

I don't know why I get quotes emailed to me everyday. Also I don't know what this means #cryptic #oramijustsilly

[U won't @2h54yams]

fuck le grocery store #iusedtoloveyou