The Cool Dude

Too born to live. Too dead to die.

[The Cool Dude @2house2fly]

Iiix@ad!v"

[The Cool Dude @2house2fly]

[Stilgar spits on the floor]
Thank you Stilgar, for the gift of your body's moisture.
[Stilgar begins to piss on the floor]
Uh thank you, for this generous bounty of, moisture.
[Stilgar vomits on the floor and poops]
You are uh too kind, friend Stilgar

[The Cool Dude @2house2fly]

1 billion users per day

[Shinobi602 @shinobi602]

Xbox CEO Asha Sharma wants Xbox to reach 1 billion players per day.

It currently reaches around 1 billion per year.

➡️ https://t.co/J7Wrol5CCF

[The Cool Dude @2house2fly]

@heythisisbrian John: Then why doesn't it become a bomb or something to get me?

Terminator: The T-1000 can't form complex machines. Guns and explosives have chemicals in them. Moving parts.

John: But couldn't it turn into a ball to chase me?

Terminator: No. That would look too fucked up.

[The Cool Dude @2house2fly]

That's kinda a rough 23. Rougher now ofc

[barry with the NED @bonzerbarry]

Cleared for publication: Staff Sergeant Noam Hamburger, 23 year old tech and maintenance soldier from the 9th Battalion was killed by a FPV drone in southern Lebanon. Another IOF soldier was seriously wounded in the strike.

[The Cool Dude @2house2fly]

Me: [reading title of youtube video] Alduin? He wasn't a villain was he?
Wife: yes?
Me: oh right, he's the one you fight. I was thinking of the friendly one
Wife: That's paarthunax
Me: similar names. You know he's played by Keith Szarabajka?
Wife: he's played by Charles Martinet

[The Cool Dude @2house2fly]

Told the boy about Descartes, and now when he's annoyed with me he says "I think I'm going to punch you, therefore I am going to punch you"

[The Cool Dude @2house2fly]

@telyhouse This patient went on to live forever and was even allowed to molest children without consequences

[The Cool Dude @2house2fly]

Trump let Elon Musk walk around pressing big magnets against crucial government servers and started a war because he was in kinda a grumpy mood one afternoon. At this point still believing in "the deep state" is Disney Adult vibes ngl

[DNI Tulsi Gabbard @DNIGabbard]

Newly-declassified records expose how deep state actors within the Intelligence Community concocted a false narrative that Congress used to usurp the will of the American people and impeach duly-elected President @realDonaldTrump in 2019.

Today, we reveal the truth 👇

🔗https://t.co/hOxCPOb5k1

[The Cool Dude @2house2fly]

@PublixRealAcct @ExpertsLie In my experience, for whatever that's worth, someone else's kid vs your kid is def not the same but it's close enough that you're probably right not to make that dice roll

[The Cool Dude @2house2fly]

beetle bailey no

[Mike Cobraman @MKupperman]

Might as well post this again

[The Cool Dude @2house2fly]

It's a hell of a risk. The last one barely made the top 20 grossing movies of all time list

[DiscussingFilm @DiscussingFilm]

Conversations are happening about how future ‘AVATAR’ movies could be made cheaper & shorter in order for them to be a less risky investment.

(Source: https://t.co/xJQYYnMFOe)

[The Cool Dude @2house2fly]

@LeadingReport Well what a great job he did.

[The Cool Dude @2house2fly]

@wolicyponk If it isn't done in the Rapé region of France it's just sparkling sexual assault

[The Cool Dude @2house2fly]

@RadishHarmers Just you, everyone else's tweets are loading normally for me

[The Cool Dude @2house2fly]

@AIslop_ Oh so I get yelled at when MY response to seeing my baby for the first time is "what is this? Why does it look like a dog?" but Mickey Mouse gets a pass?

[The Cool Dude @2house2fly]

17 years and 58 days ago, fireflies were imprisoned without due process and the owls responsible have never been held accountable.

[songs that changed history @iconiksongs]

17 years ago, owl city released fireflies.

[The Cool Dude @2house2fly]

How come he names the author of Charlotte's Web but not Wind In The Willows. What is Wind In The Willows not good enough to name the author? Mother fucker.

[Time Capsule Tales @timecaptales]

In the summer of 2000, as the Harry Potter series was quickly becoming a global sensation, legendary Yale critic Harold Bloom gave one of his most unpopular takes, calling 35 million readers wrong

[The Cool Dude @2house2fly]

@viperwave oh so all of a sudden italians are "white"