Brittany Morrow

I like plants, I like my dog, sometimes I leave the house.

[Gretchen Felker-Martin @scumbelievable]

The bear that fights Jaime and Brienne on Game of Thrones would only perform if his handlers brought him frying pans full of whipped cream and everyone applauded while he ate them, which is very close to what I want out of life.

[Brittany Morrow @2ndHandBiology]

@Spencaz @NorCominAtcha THANKS SPENCAZ!

[Brittany Morrow @2ndHandBiology]

@NorCominAtcha Ill always love you, even if we no longer apply for common law

[NOT A WOLF @SICKOFWOLVES]

OH SORRY THIS INCREDIBLY TIGHT VEST ISNT BECAUSE THERES A THUNDERSTORM GOING ON ITS BECAUSE I READ A FASHION BLOG AND IT TOLD ME TO DRESS FOR THE JOB I WANT AND NOT LIKE I AM SCARED OF SOUND

[NOT A WOLF @SICKOFWOLVES]

SORRY I HAVE NOT RETURNED YOUR TEXT

I HAVE JUST BEEN STARING AT THE NOTIFICATION FILLED WITH ABJECT DREAD

AS THOUGH OPENING IT MIGHT TURN MY PHONE INTO A SNAKE OR SOMETHING

[Brittany Morrow @2ndHandBiology]

Where's the afterparty at? I slept through the party.

[Brittany Morrow @2ndHandBiology]

I knew I had made it back to my hometown when I got stuck in a traffic jam caused by an elderly woman pushing her dog, in a stroller, down the middle of the street.

[Brittany Morrow @2ndHandBiology]

Stop telling me there are "plenty of fish in the sea" when I keep running out of people to swipe on tinder. If the ocean was really that small, I wouldnt still be afraid of it.

[Brittany Morrow @2ndHandBiology]

Our 'word of the day' calendar has done wonders for my road-rage. I never felt like a true scholar until I called someone a "brobdingnagian cunt" on I4.

[Neil deGrasse Tyson @neiltyson]

Evidence collected over many years, obtained from many locations, indicates that the power of Prayer is insufficient to stop bullets from killing school children.

[Brittany Morrow @2ndHandBiology]

Instead of a #valentine, this morning I caught a scorpion in my office. Is there any difference, really?

[Brittany Morrow @2ndHandBiology]

Gay porgs? Not the relationship we wanted, but at this point we'll take anything.

[Brittany Morrow @2ndHandBiology]

We can learn a thing or too from these crayfish. Time to get to work, ladies. https://t.co/7rdseSe1id

[Laurie Voss @seldo]

This is WILD. A single mutation 25 years ago created an all-female species of crayfish that reproduces asexually in huge numbers, and they are literally taking over the world: https://t.co/znx6rsFIXp

[Brittany Morrow @2ndHandBiology]

Whats your dick like homie whats your credit score

[Brittany Morrow @2ndHandBiology]

IT TOOK ME A SECOND https://t.co/mYJa9TR7gC

[felix @legobutts]

oh haha queer peeps on the okcupid sign up page!

wait....wait.

wait

no

oh god no

okcupid what is your brand what

[Brittany Morrow @2ndHandBiology]

When trying to convince anyone that I am eligible dating material, I list "has a roomba" before "college graduate" and I don't know if that says more about my priorities or about just how much dog hair you're going to be dealing with.

[Brittany Morrow @2ndHandBiology]

Excuse me while I cry https://t.co/IPweeictDV

[Jules Suzdaltsev @jules_su]

Just so we’re clear on what’s happening:

In 2013 when Republicans caused a shutdown, Dems passed a bill to make sure troops were paid.

In 2018 when Republicans caused a shutdown, they BLOCKED a bill by Dems to continue military pay. Then lied to the troops about it. https://t.co/oSWtJAnHPM

[Richard Hine @richardhine]

The President who was spanked with a copy of Forbes by the porn star with whom he had adulterous, unprotected sex 4 months after his 3rd wife gave birth now wants to allow "Christian" doctors and nurses to deny healthcare to LGBT people because they disapprove of that lifestyle.