Senator Satire

The world sucks and so does life. Then you die and nothing else happens.

[Senator Satire @2whop_pop]

@ABlinken Maybe stick to guitar in your “band”

[Senator Satire @2whop_pop]

@WhiteHouse We literally already did this bro

[Senator Satire @2whop_pop]

@ChuckAFlint @AdamMilstein Go chuck yourself lol also, how does one live like a socialist in a capitalist country? No wonder “former” appears twice in your bio.

[Senator Satire @2whop_pop]

America will never be a great country until we have reliable internet and cell service from coast-to-coast. It’s baffling to me how you can be in the middle of a midsize town and not be able to use your phone for any reason.

[Senator Satire @2whop_pop]

@mehdirhasan Never ceases to amaze me how religious leaders use the name of their god as an excuse to murder.

[Senator Satire @2whop_pop]

@RealCynicalFox This argument is valid but it didn’t have to be an invasion. We could’ve blockaded Japan indefinitely, they would have surrendered all the same. We dropped the bombs for one reason: to warn Stalin.

[Senator Satire @2whop_pop]

Apple AirPods are the worst pieces of junk. They never connect, and when they do they disconnect randomly. Absolutely worthless.

[Senator Satire @2whop_pop]

@Elizabethcanuck @ianbremmer @sarobertson_ I’m confused here about you calling out California, Arizona, and Florida as border states

[Senator Satire @2whop_pop]

@anniedufour99 @GavinNewsom @acoyne Yeah, Albany, NY.

[Jon Abrams @RealJonAbrams]

Despicable to call Ruffalo antisemitic. Hi, I’m Jewish. I will be the one to tell you when something is antisemitic, you dishonest clowns. It is not antisemitic to decry Israel’s crimes. In fact, it is our moral obligation — as Jews, and as human beings.

[Senator Satire @2whop_pop]

The whole “you have to provide a credit card to reserve a table” is really fucking annoying.

[Senator Satire @2whop_pop]

@charlieINTEL Movement feels like MW19, so it’ll take some getting used to. I think it’s fun at the very least it’s new maps and weapons and stuff. So far so good.

[Senator Satire @2whop_pop]

@RepJeffries Is this a joke?

[Senator Satire @2whop_pop]

@RepNancyMace I feel like there’s a biblical reference I could point out here…

[Senator Satire @2whop_pop]

@MrSausageGet This dude literally can’t furrow his brow. He’s had so much plastic surgery.

[Senator Satire @2whop_pop]

@cenkuygur @RoKhanna Agreed but I don’t think MFA should be the *top* priority…

[rova @rovabtw]

i miss when goon meant entry level mafia employee

[Senator Satire @2whop_pop]

@DiscussingFish No

[Senator Satire @2whop_pop]

Local officials: So when should we do this roadway construction?
Foreman: Morning rush hour.
Local officials: Well, that might not be -
Foreman: Rush hour.
Local officials: I think people would not be hap -
Foreman: *leans in intently* Rush. Hour.