James Warmington

#comedyMIA

[James Warmington @305warm]

@elonmusk And you’ve always been gay Elon

[James Warmington @305warm]

@mattvanswol @elonmusk @DaveChappelle Charlie Kirk mostly spread hate about Black people every time you spoke about them fuck him.

[James Warmington @305warm]

Everyone’s favorite word in Spanish is, “Ehhhhhh,” can’t convince me otherwise.

[James Warmington @305warm]

@5thgenalbertan This is a dark thought. Not worth talking anout. But for me, I use concentrated THC constantly.

[James Warmington @305warm]

Unfortunately, I’m way too intelligent to ignore the already obvious cure for Multiple Sclerosis.

[James Warmington @305warm]

Happy 9/11! The biggest false flag and government backed building demolition that killed thousands of innocent people.

[James Warmington @305warm]

Following the Lyndsey Clancy mistrial, do we think that “post partum phycosis” is enough to erase a mother’s culpability in strangling her three children?

[James Warmington @305warm]

Gen Z kids need to STFU and shove that dumbass vape back in their face.

[James Warmington @305warm]

I usually have on jeans because I’m always slacking off.

[Brandonomics Defender @JohnGregoryJr]

My advice to young men is to skip college and go into the trades like ditch digging or professional organ donor

[James Warmington @305warm]

Always trying to prove I’m manlier than others but I can’t help noticing that I mostly look like both my grandmothers.

[James Warmington @305warm]

I go to the library every day because it’s hot out. I always take a book out don’t take me for one of those bums on the hideout.

[James Warmington @305warm]

How can Miami have the worst traffic and the best trafficking?

[James Warmington @305warm]

Happy Independence Day— breakup with Israel now @realDonaldTrump!

[James Warmington @305warm]

I’ve been in such a rush to fuck things up with as many women it takes to stop thoughts of one I still haven’t touched.

[James Warmington @305warm]

I couldn’t really rely on an AI version of any professional service I’m used to paying people for because it takes human shame and desperation to serve me adequately.

[James Warmington @305warm]

I’m working on a big show next month in Overtown!

[James Warmington @305warm]

A lot of comics won’t let you record their set, I used to think it was because they didn’t want their new jokes to be stolen. But now I know it is that they don’t want you to record their new jokes bombing.

[James Warmington @305warm]

Sometimes people will say, “Multiple Sclerosis is all in your head,” and then I have to tell them it’s literally brain damage.

[James Warmington @305warm]

Fuck reels, social media ain’t fun unless you fish a real bitch out of there.

[James Warmington @305warm]

People buy Smart phones just to do the dumbest shit. I’m sure mines is making me stupider fo sho.