James Warmington

#comedyMIA

[James Warmington @305warm]

Fuck reels, social media ain’t fun unless you fish a real bitch out of there.

[James Warmington @305warm]

People buy Smart phones just to do the dumbest shit. I’m sure mines is making me stupider fo sho.

[James Warmington @305warm]

Even real friends feel imaginary.

[James Warmington @305warm]

My smart phone thinks I’m stupid.

[James Warmington @305warm]

Praise be to Allah!

[James Warmington @305warm]

TONIGHT!

[James Warmington @305warm]

He said, “trans lunar injection” on TV. Bra, WTF are they doing up there with the Moon?

[James Warmington @305warm]

Thank you for your attention to this matter.

[𝖄𝖆𝖓𝖐𝖊𝖊 @Be_like_yankee]

Smelling weed in public for me is like smelling the little baked pie on the windowsill in cartoons I can't lie

[James Warmington @305warm]

You call her your ex I’ll text she’s my next.

[Dan Bilzerian @DanBilzerian]

Fuck Trump, our politicians and all the Muslim leaders who sided with Israel.

You sold out your people for some shekels.

[James Warmington @305warm]

You can’t stop the rain but you can stop caring and wear it everywhere you go.

[James Warmington @305warm]

I’m not interested in anything artificial, especially intelligence, I’m interested in alternative intellegence to augment whatever brain your workforce has left.

[James Warmington @305warm]

This woman approached me at a bar and said “Hey, is your name James Warmington” and while I should be flattered— it urks the fuck outta me, why couldn’t she ask “what’s your name?” Like a normal person.

[James Warmington @305warm]

Met this girl last night and we was trying to link up on Instagram but she had me blocked already.

[Dan Bilzerian @DanBilzerian]

Also fuck Kanye and any other pussy out there apologizing

[James Warmington @305warm]

I voted for Trump last etection because “Make America Great Again” finally made sense to me. It’s all about a change in perspective from this and that about the U.S. sucks to seeing all that we have already as great.

[James Warmington @305warm]

I’m talking to this fine shyt while waiting fo the Metro Mover downtowin and my cousin eaves drops on the whole convo and is mad cuz he says he saw her first.

[James Warmington @305warm]

People see me walking around and Brickel thinking I’m a “Finance guy” but nah, I’m more a fine Aunts guy!