3rd Row Non-Denom

Too cool for the front row.

[3rd Row Non-Denom @3rdRowNonDenom]

My goal in life is to love The Lord as much as Pentecostals love altar calls.

[3rd Row Non-Denom @3rdRowNonDenom]

I'm not @MatthewSCoker, but he would be a spooky Halloween costume. The horrible bad jokes would scare the children.

[3rd Row Non-Denom @3rdRowNonDenom]

@BackRowOnline I lost my keys

[3rd Row Non-Denom @3rdRowNonDenom]

In Heaven, the baristas always spell your name right.

[3rd Row Non-Denom @3rdRowNonDenom]

@Pastordave1967 @TheXianSatirist Welch's low sugar. Only the best for our church family.

[3rd Row Non-Denom @3rdRowNonDenom]

@BackRowOnline I won't. But only because you know my identity.

[3rd Row Non-Denom @3rdRowNonDenom]

@BackRowOnline look at you, making a difference with your Twitter account. I'm just here to be sassy online with no consequences.

[3rd Row Non-Denom @3rdRowNonDenom]

Nothing says "non-denominational" like gluten free communion bread

[3rd Row Non-Denom @3rdRowNonDenom]

Dropped the tray of juice during communion so I think I'm going to find a new church.

[3rd Row Non-Denom @3rdRowNonDenom]

Happiest place on earth: youth group lockout at 8PM
Worst place on earth: youth group lockout at 5AM

[3rd Row Non-Denom @3rdRowNonDenom]

Casually handing these out to my brothers in Christ #friendzone

[3rd Row Non-Denom @3rdRowNonDenom]

@BackRowBeliever Yes, he got saved here. Our worship music is just that powerful.

[3rd Row Non-Denom @3rdRowNonDenom]

@3rdRowNonDenom And if you don't do one clap in unison after saying amen, He'll just ignore you.

[3rd Row Non-Denom @3rdRowNonDenom]

Fact: God won't hear your youth group's prayer if you're not all holding hands.

[3rd Row Non-Denom @3rdRowNonDenom]

You know who else would steal tweets, @BackRowBeliever? Satan, that's who.

[3rd Row Non-Denom @3rdRowNonDenom]

@BackRowBeliever told me that he's going to steal my tweets if I don't revive this account. As if he was actually as funny as me! #nottoday

[3rd Row Non-Denom @3rdRowNonDenom]

Our church gives out free bumper stickers to its members. I would put one on my car, but then I'd have to stop driving like a maniac.

[3rd Row Non-Denom @3rdRowNonDenom]

@BackRowBeliever Don't even get me started on the son-of-a-gun rebel who stands up during a special song when everyone else is sitting...

[3rd Row Non-Denom @3rdRowNonDenom]

My candle went out at the Christmas Eve service tonight.

Is this a sign?

[3rd Row Non-Denom @3rdRowNonDenom]

@BackRowBeliever Is this your way of getting me to tweet things that you'll steal later on again? And no. It's Steven Furtick sermons.