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I do not perform acts of great kindness

[4 @4eyes_]

I found this in a charity shop. It used to sing a tune, now all it says is "Skin" 👀

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@heathsangel Mmm

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I just sold a car and immediately trod in some cat shit.

Ups and downs.

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No, I won’t eat the cupcakes your small child made.

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@heathsangel @ejp72 @M4ttso Cute bastards

[4 @4eyes_]

The neighbours are having a party. It sounds like a lot of fun.

I’m thinking about calling the police.

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@London_Calling_ Nobody calls me Shiney anymore. I miss it.

[4 @4eyes_]

@M4ttso @ejp72 I’d have no problem cutting you.

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@London_Calling_ I thought I might leave the whole rozzers idea and skip straight to throwing faeces from the bathroom window.

[4 @4eyes_]

@ejp72 @M4ttso That’s quite cute though. Almost like a cough.
Mine barks louder than a dog ten times her size

[4 @4eyes_]

@ejp72 @M4ttso Is yours a noisy cunt too?

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@M4ttso I’ll hit you with a stick.

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@M4ttso She’s tired out from barking at them for the last 3hrs

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@retalsp I’m removing the tyres off my car as we speak. I’ll tell the police they did it.

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@Morris_Oxford You what?? I say they’ve asked for it.

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@rickharwood @22CaratEwok Sorry Rick.

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I’m on a boat
As soon as we stop I’m getting in that delightfully green water.

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@22CaratEwok I didn’t swallow any. I can’t swear some didn’t find it’s way up my bum hole though. 🤷🏼‍♀️

[4 @4eyes_]

@brk4s I play a lot of space invaders since leaving here. Do you recon that’s what Brad does? Can you ask his many friends?

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I love hearing the neighbours kids hurt themselves. It’s a different pitch of screaming for a few minutes. Bliss.

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@brk4s Brad’ll be more than happy with that.
I tried to @ him & let him know, but he doesn’t have an account, the sado.

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@HillyFoz No, your encounter was much more colour coordinated.

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Good morning