50AsF*ck

Wit and wisdom. Bitching and moaning. Making fun of the injustices of middle age.

[50AsF*ck @50AsFck]

Some people relax by meditating. I relax by plucking chin hairs.

[50AsF*ck @50AsFck]

...and double chin

[50AsF*ck @50AsFck]

Even though I am fully vaccinated, I will continue to wear a mask to hide my resting bitch face.

[50AsF*ck @50AsFck]

In what kind of #shithole country are people killed buying milk at the grocery store?

[50AsF*ck @50AsFck]

Do you also hate black jelly beans or are you a psychopath?

[50AsF*ck @50AsFck]

@KaylaChowShow It doesn’t look like I thought it would.

[50AsF*ck @50AsFck]

@kristenRN202 BOURBON!

[50AsF*ck @50AsFck]

So, like, is it ALWAYS basketball season? I’m so confused...

[50AsF*ck @50AsFck]

I take it personally if you don’t like my dog.

[your other mom @difficultpatty]

How do I become one of those people that forgets to eat.

[Emma Beasley🐝 @JustBeingEmma]

Just imagine what I could have accomplished today if I had made any kind of effort whatsoever.

[50AsF*ck @50AsFck]

There is a war being waged on Americans every day by incessant #auto warranty calls and I don’t understand why every news station isn’t covering it!

#spam
#riseup

[50AsF*ck @50AsFck]

@LauraSavino747 80’s music

[The Salty Mamas @saltymamas]

My love language is listening to what I fucking say the first time.

[Stacey @skittle624]

I ate Swedish Fish in the parking lot of the dentist’s office. Get on my level.

[50AsF*ck @50AsFck]

In other news, I have a gray boob hair now.

[50AsF*ck @50AsFck]

Y’all - Bruce Springsteen looks good... #SNL

[50AsF*ck @50AsFck]

EVERYONE shame eats fast food in a parking lot while scrolling social media, right? RIGHT????

[50AsF*ck @50AsFck]

Can we trade Florida for DC and Puerto Rico? Trump can move there and be king or whatever and all of his minions move there and then we are done with this BS? I’m down with this idea. It’s going to be in the ocean in 50 years anyway.

[50AsF*ck @50AsFck]

How did we sleep, America?

[50AsF*ck @50AsFck]

The map show on TV is finally over!!!