cleetus 5

cleetis

[cleetus 5 @5Cleetus]

Using my oaf physiognomy privilege to aimlessly wander through live traffic

[cleetus 5 @5Cleetus]

Do you have what it takes to conquer the latest #CletusChallenge? 🔥⚡

[R A W S A L E R T S @rawsalerts]

🚨#BREAKING: Watch the brand new full thermal surveillance footage showing the moment a Frontier Airlines jet struck a trespasser during takeoff at Denver International Airport, forcing the aircraft to immediately abort takeoff

The full footage captures the suspect breaching the active runway moments before being hit by the aircraft as emergency crews and law enforcement rushed to the scene.

[cash @spo9globoob]

Is it CP if you been using the same dick pic since freshman year

[cleetus 5 @5Cleetus]

Working on memorizing 2 digits of pi

[cleetus 5 @5Cleetus]

I was driving down I80 with my phone in my pocket and it started doing advanced Algebra 2 on its own 😳

[cleetus 5 @5Cleetus]

MRI confirms a penis ACL tear sustained during yesterday's jelq

[cleetus 5 @5Cleetus]

Those dining hall Sloppy joes have me fent folding in the Math Hall restroom

[cleetus 5 @5Cleetus]

Asking AI for tips to improve my jelqing gains

[cleetus 5 @5Cleetus]

In the lab cooking up a new protein powder, where instead of protein it's pure Saturated fats

[Mr. Meat Scraps @ReallyLoudFart]

THERE IS A DRAGON ATTACKING DAVENPORT IOWA

[cleetus 5 @5Cleetus]

How I’m gonna be in my basement with my new Highmark trough when the Bills are down 24-0 at halftime during the first round of playoffs

[Whiskey Riff @WhiskeyRiff]

The Buffalo Bills Are Partnering With Collectibles Company To Sell Their Urinal Troughs From Highmark Stadium

https://t.co/6IaEdCfxks

https://t.co/6IaEdCfxks

[cleetus 5 @5Cleetus]

@Dinglefloogus I disagree with his implication that a TI-84 is a liberal device

[cleetus 5 @5Cleetus]

Wore my TI-84 graphing calculator tshirt at thanksgiving dinner and my conservative uncle called me the f slur

[cleetus 5 @5Cleetus]

Finally got the confidence to try out for my high schools football team at age 25, wish me luck guys

[cleetus 5 @5Cleetus]

There's no such thing as a "Cousin Walk" at Iowa Thanksgiving because we're too busy touching each other behind the shed ! 🤣

[cleetus 5 @5Cleetus]

Alright so I shat blood again.

[Chris Brunet @chrisbrunet]

UCSD’s “Math 2” course teaches grade-school math (grades 1–8) to freshmen. From page 49 of the university’s own report:

• 25% of students got 7 + 2 = ___ + 6 wrong
• 61% of students, a large majority, couldn’t round 374,518 to the nearest hundred
• 37% of students couldn't subtract fractions

UCSD is ranked as the nation's 5th best public university. Universities are cooked.

[robiš @joeltistic]

rare childhood christmas memory: not being able to take a bath because theres a carp in the bathtub

[debo @killmefam]

Coach raped me

[cleetus 5 @5Cleetus]

@TomadanB Sorry I'm only on my 8th re attempt to pass Algebra 2

[cleetus 5 @5Cleetus]

Just great. They installed AI urinals at my workplace and I promptly received a -20% paycheck deduction after it informed my boss about my sub-par hydration levels