👹

[👹 @5imba_]

Send him a picture in your scrubs… he prolly sad ❤️‍🩹🤕

[𐌕 @fwtimini]

iPhone: I'm gonna update your software tonight while you sleep.

iPhone in the morning: I couldn't do it, bro. Just didn't feel right. The vibe was off.

[Lugia @hoesluvlugia]

After DNA TESTS you will know your child is not yours.

[Feru ✭ @ferupity]

Nigga let his wife fuck other guys and she still left 😭😭

[Mesh🇧🇧 @rahsh33m]

Man plssssss😂

[👹 @5imba_]

Yelp reviews

[Dory the sagiterrorist @notdoriangrayyy]

I was cool with casual sex until men decided to fuck you like they genuinely love you wtf is that

[Ayanokoji @layeee09]

Le vieux du quartier m’a dit : « N’oublie pas que la boussole a été inventée avant l’horloge parce que la direction est plus importante que le temps. »

[Mr. Philadelphia @TOOTTHEBARBER]

I REMEMBER WHEN $200.00 WORTH OF GROCERIES HAD TO GO IN THE TRUNK...NOW YOU CAN PUT THEM 3 BAGS IN THE PASSENGER SEAT....😂🙄😂

[Rajvi @rajvishah30]

today someone in office said that “worrying is the worst way to use your imagination” and that’s easily the best thing Ive heard all week

[Thrilla the Gorilla @ThrillaRilla369]

I’m gonna piss off a lot of people saying this again but If a man pays child support, and later find out that the child isn't even his, the mother should have to pay all of it back

[Forrest Miller 🎥🏆 @AlwaysFlacko]

This shit is funny because nobody sane or who wasn’t pandering ever said George Floyd was a hero.. we just said he shouldn’t have been murdered by a cop who kneeled on his neck for 9 minutes.

[👹 @5imba_]

Why not just make 4 cards?

[Sr Freak© @SrFreak_]

The best playing card tattoo idea on the arm ♣️❤️♠️

[🩰 @Keybaker_]

my brother met my sister boyfriend and asked him how many btches he got why the lil boy said 1 he said “oh so my sister a bitch ?”😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

[Caty⁷ ✨ art&personal @c_art_y]

Everytime a black actress gets hate for a casting turns out eartha kitt has already done it 😭

[BIG JAEL @sullibible]

Pedophiles being released early bc of “good behavior” makes no sense like no shit they behaving in an environment where there are no kids #duh

[W.E.B. DaBoi @Tyre_94]

Imagine someone saying this to you in 2011

[Deniis🪐 @ALEXAGY0]

i caught two kids smoking weed outside my office. Fifteen minutes later my boss caught me and two kids smoking weed outside my office

[Robert Red Ford™ @TheRobRedFord]

Pray for the children he raped

[ROYZ @royzkingin]

The biggest proof of a man’s greatness is how much he believes in his own greatness before there’s any visible evidence of it.

[BRS @Bryce_Estelle]

“It’s never an obligation” and then makes it clear it’s an obligation