The Chemist

DM's are always encouraged and often ignored

[The Chemist @68Cly29]

I would rather die a slow painful death of dehydration then drink from a paper straw.

[The Chemist @68Cly29]

When you see a skinny mom talking about her baby and I am still trying to work off the baby fat from my 21 y/o.

[Cuddly Bear @jsmith2777]

The fact that Corona hasn’t come up a 19% proof beer that will take your breath away is just unacceptable.

[The Chemist @68Cly29]

When she takes a pic of us doing shots. And my hand looks so big....camera angles.

[The Chemist @68Cly29]

Back in the day, social distancing meant using every other urinal whenever possible.

[The Chemist @68Cly29]

I am starting to think Prince had it right. He was just 21 years to early.

[The Chemist @68Cly29]

Anxietously awaits the peloton fake porn video

[The Chemist @68Cly29]

I must be the only guy in the world that man grooms.

Me seeing all the public hair in the urinal.

[The Chemist @68Cly29]

In my defense, none of our neighbors had a car with a red bow on top in their driveways either.

[The Chemist @68Cly29]

Math contest

How fast does Santa have to fly to get to every house in one night?

[SixStringTrucker @MrEd_EVH]

I’m just a man
In a WalMart
Holding a shopping cart
Wondering
Where in the FUCK
Did the wife go
This time

[The Chemist @68Cly29]

I hate when I get aroused and give myself a wedgie at the same time.

[The Chemist @68Cly29]

Some mornings I wake up next to her and I am amazed at how well the beauty sleep worked.

[The Chemist @68Cly29]

You know she loves you when she drops off **flowers** to your work

**coffee

[The Chemist @68Cly29]

I see this trip ending with us all in the hospital awaiting liver transplants.

[Cuddly Bear @jsmith2777]

I cum way too much for someone who ever thinks he will ever have muscles 💪

[The Chemist @68Cly29]

If I am holding your hand I am doing two things at the same time

Showing my love
And putting down my phone

[SeaShell @DianeP89]

Up early to watch the brilliant sunrise from our favourite spot on the beach, preparing breakfast together while sipping mimosas, and enjoying a lazy day together lounging, reading, & enjoying each other in the window seat while watching playful seals in the calm waters below.

[Kelly Meldrum @KellyMeldrum]

If I’m working, miss the alert that my battery is dying, and my laptop shuts down, is it a sign that it’s time to take a break or do I just not understand how batteries work?

[SixStringTrucker @MrEd_EVH]

Did we have all these extra holidays and “special” days before social media?

[SixStringTrucker @MrEd_EVH]

I’m training this 20 something year old kid at work...I can’t help but think...was I this fucking annoying and full of testosterone back then?